WOW I am BACK! A VERY productive and profitable Week 3! I AM NOT JUST HAPPY. I AM FUCKING INSPIRED. Let's keep this shit GOINGGGGGG!!!
TNF:
SEA +1.5 (W) - The Hawks have slowly become one of the best teams in football. Sam Darnold is currently one of the top QBs in the entire country right now it's quite insane. Darnold is playing lights out, Kenneth Walker looking like he can run through a brick wall, and JSN is slowly becoming a WR1. However, it's their defense that is shutting everyone down. They're allowing one of the fewest yards per play in the league, and Arizona? Well, they just lost James Conner for the season to surgery, so they have a meh run game, while MHJ plays like he's afraid to get hit. You can't play like that against corners like Tariq Woolen. Give me Seattle +1.5!
1 PM ET:
PIT +1.5 & UNDER 41.5 (W, L) - Pittsburgh hasn't played that well at all the last 2 weeks. Getting boatraced at home against Seattle, and then only winning by 1 score despite forcing 5 turnovers. Steelers need to get something going, because although the Patriots defense isn't bad, per se, Brian Flores' Vikings defense is 10 levels better. Meanwhile, Minnesota just came off of a fantastic win vs. Cincinnati, but a lot of that was because Jake Browning sucks, not because Carson Wentz was playing particularly great. A lot of his playing was due to emotions, as he was playing for his boyhood team. I think they come back down to earth here in this low scoring affair on the road against one of the best pass rushes in the league.
WSH -2.5 & OVER 45.5 (L, W) - Michael Penix Jr. played like garbage dirt buried in 50 feet of shit. Shut out? Against the PANTHERS? What the fuck? Also, I hope Younghoe Koo didn't pack all of his bags, because they need to bring his ass back after the shitshow Parker Romo put out. Washington will take away what Atlanta does best: giving the rock to Bijan Robinson. Two, Atlanta just fired their WR coach. There are reports that there is internal turmoil here, and many are speculating the firing of the WR coach was trying to attempt to mask a much larger issue at hand. Three, although Washington's rush defense is superb, their coverage is garbage, and that's not good when your pass catchers are Drake London, Darnell Mooney, Ray Ray McCloud, Bijan Robinson, and Kyle Pitts. I will see Atlanta's offense try to do their absolute best to put on a better show after being shut out. Now, a pretty big part of this bet hinges on whether Jayden Daniels plays, as he remains day to day. If he does, I'm hammering this over. If not, I'm feeling less certain. However, I am still picking this because Atlanta's defense is also dog shit, but they're dog shit from front to back.
NOLA +17.5 (buy 1 pt) (W) - Weather: Clear Skies. 69 Degrees (nice). 5 MPH WNW Wind. NOLA just got their ass handed to them, and everyone and their grandma is reacting to this by hammering the Bills. However, this isn't college. This is pro football. Players' jobs are always on the line, and Kellen Moore isn't a bad play caller. There's also another thing people aren't talking about: Buffalo's secondary. They are atrocious and nobody is talking about it. They're also pretty average against the run. NOLA, despite what you saw last week, still has decent weapons on the outside (Olave and Shaheed) and a decent RB (Kamara). I think Buffalo wins of course but I don't think it's going to be that lopsided.
CLE +8.5 (L) - This honestly might be my lock of the fucking week. Everyone just watched Detroit beat Lamar Jackson and put nearly 40 points on them. The reason they scored that much is because Baltimore can't pressure the QB even if their life depended on it. Guess who can? THE FUCKING BROWNIES. MYLES GARRETT IS AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING MACHINE AND HE JUST MIGHT WIN MVP (he won't but maybe he might who knows). Point is, Jared Goff is a completely different QB when he faces pressure, and believe me, he WILL face pressure. I mean, did the entire country forget what the fuck Cleveland did to Green Bay's offense that was considered one of the best in football? Myles Garrett was eating Jordan Love for breakfast and stealing his lunch money at the same time.
NE -2.5 (buy 1.5 pt) & UNDER 43.5 (W, L) - Yes, Panthers just shut out Atlanta, but I'm not buying the Panthers hype. I still think that team stinks. Meanwhile, New England should be fucking lucky that they only lost by a single score after giving up 5 turnovers. People aren't realizing that despite the turnovers, Drake Maye isn't playing bad football. I think it's going to be a lower scoring affair, but Pats eek out the win on a last second FG.
LAC -5.5 (L) - Giants held on pretty well against the Chiefs...nah jk it's mostly because the Chiefs suck garbage dick on offense. Meanwhile, Chargers are playing like a top 3 team in the league, while the G-men look like they just want to get rid of Russell Wilson asap. Giants are also lucky that Mack is out for a few weeks, because he would have been absolutely FEASTING on Jaxson Dart. Anyways, Chargers win by 6.
PHI -2.5 (buy 1 point) (W) - On one hand, Tampa Bay plays well against what Philly does best: running the ball. On the other hand, Baker Mayfield just lost Mike Evans for 3-4 weeks and he absolutely stinks garbage landfill against a decent pass rush, especially with Tristan Wirfs coming back for his first game of the season where he won't be acclimated to the speed of the game just yet. Yeah, Mayfield's best weapon might be Emeka Egbuka...with Cade fucking Otton right behind. Oh lord this won't be good for Tampa.
HOU -6.5 (W) - Tennessee just...sucks. I had really high hopes for Cam Ward, and this whole start has been nothing but extremely disappointing. I'm picking whoever Titans are playing against until I see something better out there.
4 PM ET:
LAR -2.5 (W) - This is my second lock of the week. This is where the Indiana Jones trilogy ends. Listen, Indiana had a great run against one of the worst teams in the league, a game they should have lost if it wasn't for the Broncos' boneheaded mistake of jumping over the center, and against a bottom 5 team in the league. Indy is going across 3 time zones to face one of the best coached and well-run teams in the league and against a QB that's seemingly making father time his absolute BITCH.
JAC +3.5 & OVER 47 (W, L) - Jacksonville actually has a decent offense. They just lost 1 weird game against Joe Burrow by 4 points. They're going to play against Mac fucking Jones who has absolutely no weapons and has to face Josh Hines-Allen. Meanwhile, SF just lost Nick Bosa who was honestly the only thing that's keeping their defense together for the rest of the season.
EDIT: I know I pushed but that's an L to me so I'm counting it against me. I should have thought better and bought at least half a fucking point but for some reason I didn't this time around so FML.
BAL -2.5 (L) - This is the game that puts Baltimore over the edge. Everyone in America thinks Baltimore is overrated because they lost 2 games by 1 score both in prime time. Do people not realize how shitty the Chiefs are? If anything, they're overrating the Chiefs offense right now. Not to mention the Ravens only ran the ball 19 times against Detroit, which to be fair Detroit is a VERY physical team. That said, Chiefs rush defense has not been up to par even WITH Chris Jones. I think Baltimore uses this as a get right game.
CHI +1.5 & OVER 48 (W & W) - I don't know if you've noticed, but Caleb Williams is slowly taking steps forward. Yes, they're extreme baby steps, but still forward nonetheless. Raiders defense, meanwhile has been taking steps BACKWARDS. I trust Ben Johnson's staff over the Raiders, and I think since both of their defenses are below average I see this being a high scoring entertaining game.
SNF:
GB -6.5 - Green Bay will be absolutely pissed that they let one get away from them. I think they come back with a vengeance...against Micah Parsons' old team. Micah himself will want to make an enormous statement, and I feel like there will be some Cowboys fans that will want him to just to spite Jerry. It would be extremely funny if Jerry spoke into Brian Schottenheimer's headset and tell him to run the ball every play lol.
MNF:
MIA -2.5 - I DON'T want to pick this game but my rule is I have to pick one side. I trust Miami over the Jets. That's all I have for you.
DEN -6.5 (buy 1 pt) - I don't know if I even should buy 1 point lol. Jake Browning is going to shit his pants against one of the best front 7's in the league. Meanwhile, Sean Payton is going up against one of the worst defenses in the league.
bets for tomorrow?
