There was a time when it was easy to ask for a reference. When all you had to do was give your provider an email asking for her reference to meet another provider, it was that easy. Then, things progressed into providers asking for a fee in order to give a reference, some charging $50–$100 just for one—which is their prerogative. Now, providers don’t even want to give references out at all anymore given the responsibility of it. I’m here trying to figure out if that’s our fault that this keeps happening or do we not need references anymore?
This topic didn’t just come out of nowhere. I’ve been noticing references coming up less often these days as providers rarely ask for them as much as they used to. ECs used to ask for them constantly, often substituting certain verification information for a reference or two from another provider. I myself have never tried this, but I have heard it does make the verification process much smoother. Then, providers began not accepting the alternatives—or if they did, charging began taking effect. They didn’t care whether the reference fee came from the provider the client was seeing or the client themselves; as long as they were getting paid, it was fine. Mind you, this was up to the provider, and they had the right to charge for this.
What I didn’t think about was the responsibility a provider had when sending a reference. I thought it was a simple yes or no and it was the end of it. Apparently, there’s much more to it to the point it could put others’ lives in jeopardy. I’m slightly confused on how giving a provider a reference for someone you’ve already seen could be something dangerous. Anything can happen, however, if a provider has seen a client it doesn’t necessarily make them safe, but it for sure doesn’t make them dangerous. So if the provider wants, they can give another provider an honest review of the client. This way, the other provider can make their own decision on whether or not to see the client.
Looking back on this, I’m trying to see where we as clients ended up here. There’s no doubt that some of us may do too much when we don’t like the answer after asking for a reference. Some of us may push a little bit or nag a provider to the point where they don’t want to answer you, or they feel like you should be paying for that time. Still, as much of a responsibility as it is to give a reference, I don’t believe it’s difficult to say yes or no in this scenario. This is for the providers both giving and receiving the references. I believe if you feel like anyone’s life is in jeopardy, then regardless of the outcome from the client, I don’t believe it’s worth giving us a yes. A lot of us don’t like hearing no, but we’re grown and will deal with it.
Whether or not clients are to blame for references being what they are could be debatable. Though, at the end of it all, the providers are the ones with the power here. If a provider says they need a reference, then a reference you’ll have. If they say there’s a fee, then if the client really wants to see that provider, they’ll pay. No matter how you look at it, the provider has us by the balls. If you’re into that type of thing.
