My boundary pushing nightmare

[sezz66]

Edit> After chatting with someone I trust and thinking it over again, I decided to delete this post. Turns out either I am a bad guy or I'm just really bad...

Edit> After chatting with someone I trust and thinking it over again, I decided to delete this post. Turns out either I am a bad guy or I'm just really bad at reading the room. Either way it's not her fault, it's mine. Thanks for letting me vent.

Mods, please delete this if that doesn't violate board policy.

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[king-sama4u2nv]

If you're venting then that's fine, but after reading this it has the gears in my mind moving. I don't know the extent of what happening but I don't know if you'd be venting if you yourself knew what you did.

If I can be bold enough to ask. Do you have a slight idea what it could be? I learned not to long ago providers can look are certain situations different then we do. It didn't really make sense when I heard it then but we see things different.

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[connman]

Sometimes it's not what we said. but how it was taken.

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[sezz66]

If you're venting then that's fine, but after reading this it has the gears in my mind moving. I don't know the extent of what happening but I don't know if you'd be venting if you yourself knew what you did.

If I can be bold enough to ask. Do you have a slight idea what it could be? I learned not to long ago providers can look are certain situations different then we do. It didn't really make sense when I heard it then but we see things different.

I don't want to give too many details publicly. This woman is popular here and I don't want to start any trouble. I still like her myself actually. I would for sure call this a case of 2 people seeing a situation completely different ways. I just hate that I could have accidentally made her feel bad enough to permanently ban me. Life doesn't give do overs though

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[king-sama4u2nv]

Sometimes it's not what we said. but how it was taken.

But, how are we suppose to know that? I get there's common sense and with that it should be enough to guide you through a conversation or intimacy; in my opinion. Some of us are dealing with strangers which means things will be taken out of context..... Which further pushes your comment. You go it Con!

I don't want to give too many details publicly. This woman is popular here and I don't want to start any trouble. I still like her myself actually. I would for sure call this a case of 2 people seeing a situation completely different ways. I just hate that I could have accidentally made her feel bad enough to permanently ban me. Life doesn't give do overs though

Damn! This made be sad a bit. I'd say the most you can do is take it as a lesson, but it's hard to learn from something you don't know what you did.

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[sezz66]

But, how are we suppose to know that? I get there's common sense and with that it should be enough to guide you through a conversation or intimacy; in my opinion. Some of us are dealing with strangers which means things will be taken out of context..... Which further pushes your comment. You go it Con!

Damn! This made be sad a bit. I'd say the most you can do is take it as a lesson, but it's hard to learn from something you don't know what you did.

That's nice but it's cool man. I've still got life, health, and money. This one hurts but I'll survive.

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[Sexaddict]

What did she accuse you of "crossing"?

Either way, don't overthink it. Plenty of other fish in the water, so to speak.

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[connman]

But, how are we suppose to know that?

That's the million dollar question. We are all different. We are different ages, cultures, sexes, and many other differences. I don't know many details of @sezz66 situation (and I respect his decision to hold them back), but an example would be certain things I might say and find acceptable at 65 might be viewed as inappropriate by someone at 22. Times change, views change with it.

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[sezz66]

It's a minefield guys. We just try not to get blown to pieces lol.

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[SlyJr]

It's never happened to me about an actual session, but moreover my approach when I have reached out to a couple providers. It just boiled down to them wanting to put negative values on words or phrases I've used and having this made up etiquette, that's only known to them, that I somehow crossed or didnt abide by.

Like stated here before, there are a lot of providers and as human beings, we don't necessarily know what they are going thru when we have them in our presence. Take it with a grain of salt and keep it pushing. It's exactly what I did. I have had 2 experiences like I detailed above and all I did was just move on. Didn't inquire, didn't try to discuss. No need to when there is an endless supply out there. And you say you're selective, but I'm pretty sure there are plenty of others out there for you.

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[oc.businessman.33]

Never happened to me. It's difficult to give advice or guidance without knowing some details, but I completely understand you wanting to keep things confidential. I hope venting makes it somewhat easier. Maybe with time and continued apologies in the form of gestures she will possibly reconsider.

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[Deleted member 3902]

I didn’t have this happen to me with anyone I met in person. There was a provider who had an OF, and upon conversation asked me to message her on IG.

I reached out to her on IG, and IG told me we had to be friends in order for us to message. I let her know she would need to follow me back & she completely lost her mind calling me a liar and telling me that I was just trying to get followers. She called me weird and a few other names, I was pretty taken back. I showed her a screenshot & claimed the screenshot was fake. I blocked her and moved on. I’m sure in her mind I was the weird one.

I fashion myself a generous client, I never push boundaries, and I’d like to think those i frequent would have nothing but good things to say about me .

I was totally taken back by this, I felt…. Creepy? I’ve never felt like that, and never want to feel like that again. Her loss IMO. She was an absolute stunner, but I would never visit her after that. I’m sure she isn’t hurting for clients, but it was probably a bad business move.

My guess is you just never know what a persons trigger word or situation might be. You may not mean anything by it, but you might have hit a nerve or something? Everyone deals with things and trauma differently . Hell, you could have just reminded her of someone she didn’t like.

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[king-sama4u2nv]

I didn’t have this happen to me with anyone I met in person. There was a provider who had an OF, and upon conversation asked me to message her on IG.

I reached out to her on IG, and IG told me we had to be friends in order for us to message. I let her know she would need to follow me back & she completely lost her mind calling me a liar and telling me that I was just trying to get followers. She called me weird and a few other names, I was pretty taken back. I showed her a screenshot & claimed the screenshot was fake. I blocked her and moved on. I’m sure in her mind I was the weird one.

I fashion myself a generous client, I never push boundaries, and I’d like to think those i frequent would have nothing but good things to say about me .

I was totally taken back by this, I felt…. Creepy? I’ve never felt like that, and never want to feel like that again. Her loss IMO. She was an absolute stunner, but I would never visit her after that. I’m sure she isn’t hurting for clients, but it was probably a bad business move.

My guess is you just never know what a persons trigger word or situation might be. You may not mean anything by it, but you might have hit a nerve or something? Everyone deals with things and trauma differently . Hell, you could have just reminded her of someone she didn’t like.

I figure you did the smart thing and moved on. After showing proof you weren't lying when you didn't have to only to get disrespected further. Yeah, if anything you dodged a bullet to crazy town.

This also falls more into @sezz66 meaning. People think one thing while to the other it leaves you confused. As is shit happens.

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