I need to be clear on something I originally thought was okay, but now seems to be a problem. As a client, I know the average provider sees us wanting a couple of things in a session, but I've narrowed it down to three: we want conversation, sex, and confidentiality, in my opinion. Now, if you break each one of them down, it's pretty broad. If you break down conversation, you might come up with emotion, ice-breaking, and intimacy. Yet, even giving something as small as an emotional conversation is too much for some providers.
Let me break it down. I follow a provider who's open about letting others in on her problems in the hobby. The biggest problem that seems to be affecting her is clients emotionally dumping their problems on her. At first, I thought talking was something that providers enjoyed and lived for, to be honest. If sex isn't on the table and they're getting their rate paid, it's a huge win for them. Though I have literally just learned that there is such a thing as too much talking and saying too much to just anyone because they're in your vicinity.
Emotional dumping is the act of unconsciously sharing your feelings or perspective without an awareness of the other person and their emotional state or needs. Why one of us would do something like this on purpose is beyond me; however, for one of us to do this unconsciously makes sense. We might be a little too comfortable with a provider, thinking there's more to the transaction, and we just overshare some things. I can't speak for any provider, but for some, this is a turn-off—at least to the one I follow.
Supposedly, being too familiar makes some providers unable to reciprocate, both emotionally and physically intimate. I'm guessing this is a boundary not too many providers can deal with, leaving them paid but ultimately unfulfilled and shut down.
My two cents: Not everyone is made to listen to others. To be able to listen and mirror those feelings back is an art that very few have. While I understand doing this with a provider makes sense, we should always remember what type of hobby we're in. Emotional dumping isn't something we know we're doing, but it is something we can stop when faced with who's in front of us.
While I believe everything I just wrote, I also believe a provider should make it very well known when their boundaries are being pushed. If they can't take everything we have to say, let it be known, and we can move on to the physical activities if need be. Talking for the first 30 minutes or so isn't meant for everyone, so best not waste each others time.
Let me break it down. I follow a provider who's open about letting others in on her problems in the hobby. The biggest problem that seems to be affecting her is clients emotionally dumping their problems on her. At first, I thought talking was something that providers enjoyed and lived for, to be honest. If sex isn't on the table and they're getting their rate paid, it's a huge win for them. Though I have literally just learned that there is such a thing as too much talking and saying too much to just anyone because they're in your vicinity.
Emotional dumping is the act of unconsciously sharing your feelings or perspective without an awareness of the other person and their emotional state or needs. Why one of us would do something like this on purpose is beyond me; however, for one of us to do this unconsciously makes sense. We might be a little too comfortable with a provider, thinking there's more to the transaction, and we just overshare some things. I can't speak for any provider, but for some, this is a turn-off—at least to the one I follow.
Supposedly, being too familiar makes some providers unable to reciprocate, both emotionally and physically intimate. I'm guessing this is a boundary not too many providers can deal with, leaving them paid but ultimately unfulfilled and shut down.
My two cents: Not everyone is made to listen to others. To be able to listen and mirror those feelings back is an art that very few have. While I understand doing this with a provider makes sense, we should always remember what type of hobby we're in. Emotional dumping isn't something we know we're doing, but it is something we can stop when faced with who's in front of us.
While I believe everything I just wrote, I also believe a provider should make it very well known when their boundaries are being pushed. If they can't take everything we have to say, let it be known, and we can move on to the physical activities if need be. Talking for the first 30 minutes or so isn't meant for everyone, so best not waste each others time.
