A cautionary tale... I'm an idiot

[Stayin’ Alive]

Her words if prhased that exact way sound very much like a narcissist deflection at least in my experience (my father who helped raise me when he was home is a textbook narcissist )

copy/pasted from the text so yes exactly how she wrote it

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[Ch3vyh0tr0d]

copy/pasted from the text so yes exactly how she wrote it

Well then sounds very similar to words i had heard many a time from my narcissist father when he actually was around and I tried to tell him what he did wrong or how he made me feel growing up

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[Swytypy]

Well then sounds very similar to words i had heard many a time from my narcissist father when he actually was around and I tried to tell him what he did wrong or how he made me feel growing up

This is 100% narcissism, deflection and gaslighting. People who can’t accept their own flaws do this exact thing to make other people feel bad and feel like they’re the problem.

You did nothing wrong, @Committing_Suicide - nothing at all.

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[connman]

“you make me feel like dog shit

She is.

Guess in addition to being an idiot I’m now also an asshole

Flipping the script back, she is the asshole.

You told her how you felt and gave her a chance to make it right, all you can do.

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[Deleted member 3902]

Just catching up on this, brutal. Yes, you absolutely did this to yourself, but it still sucks. I hope you are well, and i hope you find a PS, providers, person in RL who is going to appreciate you brother. Yes, we are all looked at as a piggy bank 100%, and we should not get emotionally attached. With that being said, there are some great providers and PS who actually value your time and generosity.

I go above and beyond in a lot of ways for my fav, but I do not get emotionally attached. I know what is. She does the same for me. I get nice perks & things in gratitude & it goes a long way for me.

There are people out there who will
Value you. Also, you should value yourself. I’m sure you do. To hell with this person, but I know that’s easier said than done. 1k-2k is small loss int rh grand scheme of things, hell I’ve tipped $500+ this week to my fav. You will be fine, thanks for being honest, and I hope you are well brotha.

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[pescadodiablo]

Mental health professional chiming in here. Like yourself and others have noticed OP, you are dealing with someone with narcissistic tendencies. I wouldn't be surprised if they would fit the diagnostic criteria for a personality disorder. My advice is to cut off all ties, someone that toxic can only cause you more harm at this point.

But more importantly, I hope you are being more kind and gracious to yourself. I empathize, the feeling of being betrayed and taken advantaged of is not a feeling I would wish on anyone. Don't let this defeat you, all emotion, no matter how painful, is temporary. This will be a distant memory in due time, and it's not worth throwing everything away.

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[bigbadray1]

Little update here:

I decided to be blunt with this girl after seeing her on social media basically begging for people to help her and send her some money the last 2 days.

Laid it out about how I would not give any more but that could change if she would at least send me the video and clothing item I asked for.

First she replied saying “I’m sorry”

After I told her I didn’t really care for an apology and laid things out even more clearly about how much I feel I’ve been used and what not she replied “you make me feel like dog shit thank you so much”

So basically trying to flip the script and make me out to be the bad guy for having the audacity to explain to her why I won’t be helping her financially this time and how she could make it right by me…

Guess in addition to being an idiot I’m now also an asshole.

Wonderful.

Sounds like you handled it as respectfully and honestly as possible. Setting boundaries especially after feeling used isn’t being an asshole, it’s self-respect. Her trying to guilt you instead of taking accountability says more about her than it does about you. Don’t beat yourself up for caring too much; just learn from it and protect your peace going forward....Send me a link. I wanna see what kind of sorcery this witch is working with. Do not keep showing love... it doesn't reciprocate.

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[Stayin’ Alive]

Well update here and not a good one:

Couple weeks after I tried to cut off all ties this one got ahold of me saying she wanted to “make things right”… she explained the video I wanted was “lost” for the time being but she’d send the clothing item(s) asap

So I got her a few hundred more. Never saw the items. Inquired a few times. Was told she had a tracking number but it was “lost” as well. (So no sign it was ever sent).

I informed her I’d be going out of town for 10 days and would like it before I left. She promised I’d get it. Didn’t show up. She promised it would be at my place when I got back in 11 days and “then some” and it wasn’t here when I got back.

I checked in and didn’t hear from her for a few days before finally hearing back today and was told basically to stop bothering her.

So yeah. $1,370 down the drain. Nothing in return.

And I’m back into suicidal territory again thanks to her.

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[Ch3vyh0tr0d]

Well update here and not a good one:

Couple weeks after I tried to cut off all ties this one got ahold of me saying she wanted to “make things right”… she explained the video I wanted was “lost” for the time being but she’d send the clothing item(s) asap

So I got her a few hundred more. Never saw the items. Inquired a few times. Was told she had a tracking number but it was “lost” as well. (So no sign it was ever sent).

I informed her I’d be going out of town for 10 days and would like it before I left. She promised I’d get it. Didn’t show up. She promised it would be at my place when I got back in 11 days and “then some” and it wasn’t here when I got back.

I checked in and didn’t hear from her for a few days before finally hearing back today and was told basically to stop bothering her.

So yeah. $1,300 down the drain. Nothing in return.

And I’m back into suicidal territory again thanks to her.

Im sorry this happened to you but honestly "fool me once, fool me" twice saying comes to mind should of just blocked her and moved on... as far as suicidal territory I can only say this it may seem like a good idea but IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!! All you end up doing in hurting the ones that love and or care for you... I know im just a guy on the internet but I care i really would feel terrible if I knew someone committed suicide especially as someone who tried to commit suicide myself and i did not try to help... find some inspiration even if small things like find inspiration in getting in better shape, or making more $ to vist another PS provider soon and hit up TA he will make sure you are not scammed etc

So please for anything you care bout put the guns/pills away

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[lvg99]

As someone that has been taken advantage of way too many times doing this stuff you got to stop interacting with her. Once someone has used you for money they won't stop.

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[connman]

Stay strong. You have support here.

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[Ch3vyh0tr0d]

I will mention this on the subject of suicide anyone who feels they are going to do this feel free to Private message me i dont not mind making a friend to keep them from being 6 feet under

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[smorezx]

Yeah you need to block her OP. The situation sucks but it's far better to cut ties NOW before you're down thousands of more dollars. There are people who get used like this all the time and it takes tens of thousands of dollars before they even consider stopping it.

You're pissed. You're angry. I would delete and block her now while you know she's using you. She's going to reach out again and you need to be proactive to stop it. Block her social media, her number, and if you have her number written or mentioned elsewhere delete that too.

Cut her off and then do something to relax. Get a massage, go for a run, watch your favorite movie, etc. People have been in this situation before and they come out stronger because they've learned to not let anyone use them again.

Best of luck. You'll get through this

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[nb0316]

I’ve been there man, it sucks. And even a year later it’s hard not to get upset about it at times. You can DM whenever, I’ve felt the same way you do but it’s not worth the drastic measures you’re thinking of

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[pescadodiablo]

Ditto what others have said. DM me if you'd like man, I'm in the mental health game and am no stranger to these conversations. You're not alone. I urge you to reach out to someone, whether someone in your personal life or on here.

As for her, please cut her off, she is an abuser, she will only continue hurting you for her own gain so long as you keep her in your life.

Remember that everything your feeling now, while completely valid, is temporary. Ending things will only rob your loved ones of you, and yourself of a lifetime of good memories you lose all chance of creating for yourself.

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[solarphile]

You are not alone. You are never alone. You are valued. We want you here with us.

Whenever I am feeling low, I try to remember my favorite things. For me, the smell of the Sonoran Desert after a rain storm, the taste of a really good, fresh cut pineapple (before I knew it had other benefits to this hobby ) or a really good steak, the sound of the ocean.

Please try to focus on what gives you joy, not what has caused you pain. I hope it helps to put the pain in its proper perspective. Because as with all things, it is temporary. Embrace then let go of the joy and the pain.

I offer myself as well as a source - please contact me if you need anything.

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[GeneWood]

The ONLY thing you have done wrong is continue to engage. Stop sending her money, stop expecting to get anything in return. $1300 is an expensive lesson, but it's a lesson you need to LEARN.

Now go find a real, verified professional, and spend a reasonable amount of money, to get a reasonable service in return. Maybe you'll book through an agency, and get 1 hour for $1500. Maybe you'll see a regular escort for a lower price. It'll take more research, possibly travel, but I guarantee you can have an amazing time for half that.

Or, if you want friendship with the possibility of sex, go on a dating site and try to build a relationship the old fashioned way. Either way, it's going to take work.

Well, last night another member here paid the remaining $240 and bought it for her. She said on twitter she would do "dirty things" for the item. So he'll reap the benefits of that, while I get nothing.

I know this is late, but I can't believe no one else has pointed this out. Hopefully you can take some solace with the knowledge that whatever she said on Twitter is fake. It's just marketing, to get more guys to donate. She didn't sleep with ANYONE because they bought her a trinket through that site.

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[Swytypy]

It’s really encouraging to see that OP has changed his handle from Committing Suicide to Stayin’ Alive

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[Sexaddict]

It’s really encouraging to see that OP has changed his handle from Committing Suicide to Stayin’ Alive

Team work!

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[trystagency]

sometimes its just some support from fellow folks that have went through some of the same stuff

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