I honestly don’t know whether to be mad, sad, or laugh my ass off. This has to be a joke. And yet, the reason I say that is because there’s no way a client would write something like this… right? But then it hit me—there are absolutely people in this hobby who would pull something like this without a shred of shame.
So here’s the story: a provider posted this. Even she couldn’t believe what she’d received. This client didn’t just negotiate her rate—they cut the time, dictated exactly what they wanted to do, and shared way too much personal information. At first, I thought it had to be a troll. Nope. This was an actual person. Let’s break it down.
It started off great. The client texted her respectfully to check availability. Simple. Easy. Exactly how you should start. The provider then directed him to her website to book, as most providers do. So far, so good.
Then... everything went completely off the rails.
Why—why—would someone tell a stranger, especially a provider, that they climax too quickly? LOL!!! This is where I knew it was real because, in one way or another, most of us have had an awkward moment like this. The honesty is almost admirable, but come on, that’s not something you share at all, let alone in your first message.
Next, the client explains that paying for an hour would be a waste of money because they’re going to finish too quickly. Again, brutally honest—but entirely unnecessary.
And then the pièce de résistance: they tried to negotiate the rate. Not just negotiate, but propose paying for five minutes of her time—calculated as £16. What the actual f**!?*
Let’s dissect this.
First of all, if you’re only looking for five minutes of a provider’s time, just stay home and handle your business yourself. This makes zero sense. Second, why is this person being so overly familiar? I get it; we’ve all tried to build rapport or get on a provider’s good side. But this level of personal sharing isn’t endearing—it’s baffling. What exactly were they hoping to achieve?
I’m going out on a limb here and guessing this person is new to the hobby. At least, I hope they are. The text’s overly detailed calculations suggest otherwise, but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. We’ve all made mistakes starting out—awkward emails or texts, clunky inquiries, you name it. But there’s this thing called common sense. And absolutely nothing about this situation screams common sense.
The only thing I can commend this person for is their honesty. Everything else? One giant WTF. I'm not trying to make fun of this person even though what's here is funny as hell. I'm just trying to understand the thought process.
