This is one of the things I usually refuse to talk about. If you’ve been around long enough, you know I avoid discussing three topics: race, politics, and religion. I see them as divisive subjects that often lead to arguments. However, as I reflect on our previous discussions about race, I’ve noticed that our conversations have been respectful and mature. People have shared their opinions without disrespecting one another, so I figured I might as well see if we can maintain that same environment here while sharing a bit of truth from my end.
As the title suggests, I enjoy seeing providers who aren’t my race. It’s something I didn’t even realize was a preference until I got deeper into this hobby, though it likely goes back further than that.
As some of you know, I’m AA, and before I entered the hobby, I had only been with AA women. If they weren’t AA, they were Hispanic. Growing up in a predominantly Black area, it’s no surprise that the women I encountered in my civilian life were AA. Even my first provider was AA, but that was during the Backpage days, and if you know anything about that era, seeing an attractive white woman on the site often meant she was likely undercover LE or a scam.
My first experience with anAA provider was fun, but it didn’t feel unfamiliar. It was exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and stimulating all at once, yet I couldn’t shake the thought that I could’ve easily met a woman like her back in the projects.
After that, I decided to book my first white provider. The experience wasn’t drastically different from my first, other than that she was East Coast (EC). However, I found that I got more satisfaction from it than I did with my first African American provider. Over time, I continued to see different providers of various races, and in retrospect, I realized I derived more satisfaction from those who didn’t look like the women I’d grown up around.
This isn’t meant as a critique of any race, including my own. I’m beginning to understand that the societal lessons I grew up with are now influencing some of my decisions in the hobby. For example, my mother always advised me to stay away from white women as I got older. It wasn’t because she cared about race; I could’ve dated a white girl, an Asian girl, literally anyone, and she wouldn’t have minded. But she grew up in an era where interracial relationships were taboo, and she feared I’d be treated differently by my own race or risk getting hurt by the other.
Now, the very thing that was once considered taboo to me is something I find solace in. The satisfaction I get from seeing women of different races comes from a part of me that’s rooted in my childhood experiences. Whether or not there’s a specific term for this feeling, it’s a part of me that guides my decisions in the hobby—and, to some extent, my civilian life as well.
Maybe this is something I’d need therapy for, but I feel like I’m getting that same release through seeing all these different providers. I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not, but to be honest, I don’t give fuck.
As the title suggests, I enjoy seeing providers who aren’t my race. It’s something I didn’t even realize was a preference until I got deeper into this hobby, though it likely goes back further than that.
As some of you know, I’m AA, and before I entered the hobby, I had only been with AA women. If they weren’t AA, they were Hispanic. Growing up in a predominantly Black area, it’s no surprise that the women I encountered in my civilian life were AA. Even my first provider was AA, but that was during the Backpage days, and if you know anything about that era, seeing an attractive white woman on the site often meant she was likely undercover LE or a scam.
My first experience with anAA provider was fun, but it didn’t feel unfamiliar. It was exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and stimulating all at once, yet I couldn’t shake the thought that I could’ve easily met a woman like her back in the projects.
After that, I decided to book my first white provider. The experience wasn’t drastically different from my first, other than that she was East Coast (EC). However, I found that I got more satisfaction from it than I did with my first African American provider. Over time, I continued to see different providers of various races, and in retrospect, I realized I derived more satisfaction from those who didn’t look like the women I’d grown up around.
This isn’t meant as a critique of any race, including my own. I’m beginning to understand that the societal lessons I grew up with are now influencing some of my decisions in the hobby. For example, my mother always advised me to stay away from white women as I got older. It wasn’t because she cared about race; I could’ve dated a white girl, an Asian girl, literally anyone, and she wouldn’t have minded. But she grew up in an era where interracial relationships were taboo, and she feared I’d be treated differently by my own race or risk getting hurt by the other.
Now, the very thing that was once considered taboo to me is something I find solace in. The satisfaction I get from seeing women of different races comes from a part of me that’s rooted in my childhood experiences. Whether or not there’s a specific term for this feeling, it’s a part of me that guides my decisions in the hobby—and, to some extent, my civilian life as well.
Maybe this is something I’d need therapy for, but I feel like I’m getting that same release through seeing all these different providers. I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not, but to be honest, I don’t give fuck.
