Do You Expect Closure When It’s Over?

[Hentai_Hibiki]

Some of my long time PS ATFs are publicly retired but continued to see me for a few years. But now they seem unresponsive when I ask to book them and the...

Some of my long time PS ATFs are publicly retired but continued to see me for a few years. But now they seem unresponsive when I ask to book them and the last session took multiple requests over a couple years to actually happen.

I guess I should interpret this as an indirect way of them saying they are either too busy to keep seeing me or they are no longer interested.

This is very tough for me because they shared very intimate details of their real personal life to me and to just be ghosted is not an easy pill to swallow. I felt like we at least had a real friendship, but maybe it was all an illusion or maybe I was mistaken it was anything more than being a good client.

So, I totally haven’t written them off for now, but they are getting one last chance before I move on and I give up on them. They would be certainly be welcome to visit me when I move overseas, but I highly doubt we’ll ever see each other again given their life circumstances.

I just would rather prefer they tell me they are done seeing me instead of being evasive. Part of me understands girls would be reluctant to do this to clients, but I just don’t like ambiguity in any of my social relationships.

Anyone else have difficulty letting someone go by quiet quitting?

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[Joel Goodson]

You crossed paths with them, and they did you.... let it go.... it was 100% real when you were there.... and now they have moved on.... look back on the memories but start creating newer connections of people to cross paths with for a short time.... everything is temporary.

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[Hentai_Hibiki]

You crossed paths with them, and they did you.... let it go.... it was 100% real when you were there.... and now they have moved on.... look back on the memories but start creating newer connections of people to cross paths with for a short time.... everything is temporary.

Thanks, it feels all too common with even normal friends to just vanish. It doesn’t get easier with age.

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[lvg99]

I’m big on honesty and transparency. I would definitely want someone to at least have the common courtesy to reply with a simple “I’m not providing anymore but if I return I will let you know.”

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[oc.businessman.33]

I completely understand and recognize what you’re feeling. I’ve been through it too, and it really fucking sucks when someone you spent real time with, shared personal moments, intimacy, and connection, suddenly cuts off communication without a word. It’s hard not to take it personally, but at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do except accept it and hope that future connections will show you the respect and closure you deserve.

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[Townbizz54]

I would guess my number over 22 years is closing in on 1000. I’m not trying to brag when I say that. I’m a pussy addic . I wish it was lower. But of those girls there are 3 I would call anything remotely close to a true friend. All the others are girls who’s time I paid for so I could fuck them Everybody who does this as a man needs to know that you have to check your emotions at the door and look at it like a business transaction. When you do that. And you get lucky enough to meet a girl our two that might text you about regular life you need to make a decision instantly if you want a friends or pussy. And if you’re lucky enough to turn it into both charish that relationship and treat her right go the extra mile. Tell her you appreciate her and if the have a personal life respect it
But again it’s business at the end of the day. I haven’t spoken to 1cowork since I left that company and that’s how some girls are in this. You are just a client and this is just a job. And if you really wanna hear there done just ask them but they do t want to hurt you and bluntly they don’t wanna lose you if their situation ever changes

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[Sexaddict]

Well, it´s sort of 50/50 in my situation - some providers is a lot easier to let go of than others.

There are other "VIP" clients in line, trust me. That´s the reason that I´ve never expected any "goodbye, I can't see you anymore, it was nice knowing you" from the providers side.

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[benswede1]

short answer... no

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[Swytypy]

I told a friend about a ghosting that occurred over the summer, and found myself saying, “she found a new toy to play with”. No matter how often she texts you, even when she’s the one initiating, there’s always someone with newer appeal and more chemistry, affection, attention and money around the corner. Sucks when it happens but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And smarter.

Crazy idea, but have you tried asking to talk on the phone? Sometimes a live conversation can clear up confusion, misinterpretation, and incorrect assumptions you have about each other.

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[connman]

You are not the first guy to get ghosted and won't be the last. This is true whether you met the girl at work, in a bar, or with a provider thru a business transaction. We may not like it, but it happens all the time.

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[zm7000]

You are not the first guy to get ghosted and won't be the last. This is true whether you met the girl at work, in a bar, or with a provider thru a business transaction. We may not like it, but it happens all the time.

Right…no different than real life. Girls ghost and relationships end all the time. This relationship just happened to be more of a business transaction.

While closure is nice to have, it’s not guaranteed. Just have to move on

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[dfr345]

Some of my long time PS ATFs are publicly retired but continued to see me for a few years. But now they seem unresponsive when I ask to book them and the last session took multiple requests over a couple years to actually happen.

I guess I should interpret this as an indirect way of them saying they are either too busy to keep seeing me or they are no longer interested.

This is very tough for me because they shared very intimate details of their real personal life to me and to just be ghosted is not an easy pill to swallow. I felt like we at least had a real friendship, but maybe it was all an illusion or maybe I was mistaken it was anything more than being a good client.

So, I totally haven’t written them off for now, but they are getting one last chance before I move on and I give up on them. They would be certainly be welcome to visit me when I move overseas, but I highly doubt we’ll ever see each other again given their life circumstances.

I just would rather prefer they tell me they are done seeing me instead of being evasive. Part of me understands girls would be reluctant to do this to clients, but I just don’t like ambiguity in any of my social relationships.

Anyone else have difficulty letting someone go by quiet quitting?

Attachment is the source of all misery. Appreciate, but do not attach yourself to the object of desire.

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[mr.halmrk2]

As many on here have said, you can't take it personally. In fact, we've ALL been there, especially if we don't get the proper closure we may need and/or require. Regardless, we are here to support ya and talk ya through it!

Also, on a personal note, MANY of the girls are actresses. You really need to understand that, meaning they are skilled at their trade etc. The only time it does get real is when we get to know them and their families and they know us, etc. And just know that you're always competing with other people who may have more money, status, and/or more of her preferences. But you really can't take it personally if she just "ghosts," you.

Regardless, there are other girls who will give us the time of the day, but I get it, when it is your all-time favorite, it does take time since you didn't get a proper closure/goodbye. But as I said, we're here to support ya! Good luck!

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[cranium_basher]

There was one provider that i had strongest feeling with. She was alt girl with lot of SH marks (i know i have very weird taste and fetish ). But then she told me that she didn't feel like texting with a client. A month after that I found out that she had moved in with her bf and she never advertised again.

Well it sucks that I can't book her again but girl gotta settle and have a life too, you know

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[Dolby511]

I always chalk it up as who you’re meeting is not really who they are. It’s a persona or a character they created, an alias, and whatever personal information they feel comfortable telling you about is still through the lens of their SW persona. The only way it’s real is if they feel comfortable enough to invite you into their real life with their real identity. Anything short of that you should consider to be in the realm of temporary fantasy, an experience that’s only guaranteed to last for a handful of moments and anything beyond that is only due to sheer luck of circumstances. As long as you set that as your expectations, then you won’t be disappointed and your emotions won’t be hurt. I had that understanding pretty much instinctively from the start, but it’s not intuitive for some people and that’s OK.

I missed out on a few amazing providers like Harper Cox and Scilla Reese, who according to their reputations are considered many people’s ATF’s. I’m very bummed out that I missed, seemingly permanently, a chance to see them. I was emotionally invested not so much in their personality, but in the idea and anticipation of what the experience of meeting them and indulging in them would be like. It still hurts knowing that I missed out on them, knowing with absolute certainty that it would’ve been one of the best experiences of my entire life. And the circumstances that prevented me from seeing them were medical issues that were sheer bad luck outside of my control, and by the time those circumstances resolved, they were already seemingly out of the industry and most likely will not return. My advice would be to analyze your emotions where they’re coming from and why you feel the way you do, spend some time on it and you may feel more at peace with yourself and the situation, and maybe you’ll feel differently about similar situations going forward.

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[Dolby511]

There was one provider that i had strongest feeling with. She was alt girl with lot of SH marks (i know i have very weird taste and fetish ). But then she told me that she didn't feel like texting with a client. A month after that I found out that she had moved in with her bf and she never advertised again.

Well it sucks that I can't book her again but girl gotta settle and have a life too, you know

Ironically, I have a soft spot for girls like that, I haven’t met one quite like that, but I’ve always wanted to. There’s something intriguing about them.

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[Swytypy]

I always chalk it up as who you’re meeting is not really who they are. It’s a persona or a character they created, an alias, and whatever personal information they feel comfortable telling you about is still through the lens of their SW persona. The only way it’s real is if they feel comfortable enough to invite you into their real life with their real identity. Anything short of that you should consider to be in the realm of temporary fantasy, an experience that’s only guaranteed to last for a handful of moments and anything beyond that is only due to sheer luck of circumstances. As long as you set that as your expectations, then you won’t be disappointed and your emotions won’t be hurt.

I don’t think I’ve ever read a more appropriate or well constructed paragraph in my life. Well done.

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[Dolby511]

I don’t think I’ve ever read a more appropriate or well constructed paragraph in my life. Well done.

I appreciate that thank you for the kind words

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[shion]

I completely understand and recognize what you’re feeling. I’ve been through it too, and it really fucking sucks when someone you spent real time with, shared personal moments, intimacy, and connection, suddenly cuts off communication without a word. It’s hard not to take it personally, but at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do except accept it and hope that future connections will show you the respect and closure you deserve.

All a reminder that you're not built for intimacy or connection in the long run at least in my case.

I May have to start seeing a different providers instead of the repeats. Keep the conversation to minimal ( no more hearing about her family life, etc...and just get down to business) lol

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[inspectahjamescahtah]

I get it man, but at the end of the day, it's a job for them. I never expect former employers of mine to give me any sort of closure, nor do I expect to give them any when I leave. It's nice to, but it's not required.

Same case here.

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