Being too nice can and will eventually get you used by one or two girls.
I’ve been in this hobby long enough to see it happen to good guys more times than I can count - including moments where it almost happened to me. You start off as the respectful, generous gentleman who always shows up on time, brings gifts, doesn’t negotiate, and treats her like a queen. At first, she appreciates it. Then slowly, things start to shift.
She begins expecting more. Last-minute requests for extra cash “just this once.” Cancelling other clients because she knows you’ll understand. Pushing the boundaries on time, expecting you to cover Uber, dinner, or even help with random bills because “you’re different.” Before you know it, you’re no longer a valued regular - you’ve become her safe ATM with benefits.
The worst part? You don’t even realize it’s happening until the respect is gone and the energy feels one-sided. She still smiles, still acts sweet, but the genuine connection you thought you had starts to feel transactional in the worst way.
Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way:
- Generosity is good. Being a pushover is not. Know the difference.
- Never let “helping her out” become a regular thing. One emergency is understandable. Weekly emergencies are a red flag.
- If you’re always the one compromising - on time, on money, on rules - you’re training her to take advantage.
- Real VIP treatment flows both ways. If you’re giving extra effort and gifts but she’s not making you feel like her top priority anymore, it’s time to pull back.
I still believe in being a gentleman. Manners, punctuality, respect, and thoughtful gifts will always set you apart. But there’s a fine line between being classy and being exploited. Once you cross it, getting that respect back is extremely difficult.
I have such a good story for that, if my current self looked at who I was just three years ago, he would have laughed.
I had an SB that I treated like a queen - yes, I know how absolutely cringe that sounds, and that was probably the downfall of the relationship. I was so damn pathetic and cringe that I’d send her WhatsApp texts here and there saying things like, “Oh, I remember when we met - you were the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
That’s something you should
never say to either a sugar babe or an ATF. They will use it to their advantage and see you as a complete pushover, to put it mildly. Trust me - these girls meet plenty of guys who will give them anything just because.
Don’t be like them, and don’t be like I was back then. Put your foot down and set some rules for the relationship, because it is transactional - a roleplay. One party can easily walk away from that role at any time.
It´s you who lays down the cash, show her that - you WILL gain respect from it.
(Picture of the lovely Jessica Aaren
(Tryst Agency) -
Read a review of her.)
I will respectfully disagree with much of the OP. I will concede that my experience may be an outlier....but maybe not. If you go into.the relationship assuming you will eventually get screwed over might that not be a self fulfilling prophecy.
