Should We Expect to Get Our Deposit Back?

[king-sama4u2nv]

This topic comes up far too often, but it’s one I think deserves a refresh every now and then: deposits. It's a subject that sparks mixed opinions, mostly...

This topic comes up far too often, but it’s one I think deserves a refresh every now and then: deposits. It's a subject that sparks mixed opinions, mostly because many of us have had bad experiences with them at one point or another. That said, we've all come to accept that deposits are essentially a standard part of the hobby now. Most providers require them, and those who don't usually reserve that courtesy for regular clients.

The biggest issue with deposits arises when cancellations happen—whether on our end or the provider's. The question then becomes: Should the deposit be refunded if the provider cancels the session? That’s a tough call.

The situation in question involves Kat Wilde, a provider who had to cancel a session because the roads were too icy to safely make it to her client. Considering the wave of blizzards we've been experiencing across the U.S. lately, this seems like a perfectly valid reason. Driving under those conditions is a risk no one should take—something I know firsthand. Instead of understanding Kat’s decision, however, the client suggested she take an Uber. In other words, a thinly veiled, “I don’t care. Get over here.”

When Kat decided to prioritize her safety and stay home, the client asked for his deposit back. Now, typically in these scenarios, a provider will reschedule rather than refund the deposit, as the session is still reserved despite the cancellation being on their end. However, this client wasn’t interested in rescheduling—he just wanted his money back. To her credit, Kat refunded the deposit.

Prior to doing so he client decided to insult Kat, call her out of her name, and make degrading comments about what she posted on her platform. Classy, shit.

Here’s my two cents: this guy was a dick. When Kat explained that the roads were too icy, his only response should have been, “I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like to reschedule?” That’s it. Nothing else needed to be said. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to risk their life just so someone else can get their rocks off.


Don’t get me wrong—this is a gray area. I understand where the client might be coming from. He just wanted his money back for a session that didn’t happen, and perhaps rescheduling wasn’t feasible for him. I get that. But in my opinion, I don’t expect to get a deposit back—ever.

For me, once a deposit is sent, I accept that it’s gone, regardless of what happens. Either I’ll reschedule the session, or I’ll take the loss and move on. Here’s an example: during my end-of-year extravaganza last year, I had booked Brianna Dymond as a replacement when one of my providers fell through—or so I thought. Things got complicated when I had to reschedule due to family obligations, and Brianna was gracious enough to accommodate me. But when I later found out my original provider was still available, I had to cancel my session with Brianna.

Now, I could have asked for my deposit back, made a scene, or acted like this client did, but I didn’t feel entitled to it. I knew I could’ve rescheduled with her for another time, but I also knew my schedule wouldn’t allow it. Instead, I sent Brianna a clear and polite email thanking her for her flexibility and letting her know the deposit was hers. I ended things on good terms, with no drama.

This situation with Kat feels like a gray area, but it’s hard to side with the client after seeing the way he disrespected her. There’s just no excuse for that kind of behavior, regardless of the circumstances. Deposits are a tricky subject, but courtesy and respect should always be non-negotiable.

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[NJLover]

I saw this trend online a few days ago. Lets put aside the fact that the guy was an inconsiderate dick, which he absolutely was.

It should have never gotten there. If a provider is the one who initiates a cancellation, regardless of the reasoning, the client should be entitled to a full refund of the deposit. Rescheduling should be the client’s choice, not forced onto him. There is no gray area here. Its black and white.

I travel for work and see escorts when I’m in certain towns only 1-2 times a year. If I get there, schedule time and pay a deposit, and the provider has to cancel, there’s no guaranteed timeframe of when I’ll be back in town. No harm no foul in terms of the cancellation (especially with something serious like icy roads) but I’m ABSOLUTELY owed my deposit back. And will happily pay the deposit again next time I’m in town.

Again, guy was a dick about the entire thing, but Kat initially acting like it was off putting to consider giving even half of the deposit back (with other escorts agreeing with her) is a major issue.

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[drlove69]

Even if he was a dick, she cancels, she returns deposit. We are willing to tolerate so much bad behavior from these girls.

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[Townbizz54]

Never send a deposit!!!! The only time I’ve had a deposit returned was with trinity of all people. I’m sure trysts annd other agencies would also be accommodating if it’s clearly the girl not you canceling . Once you send it consider it gone

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[king-sama4u2nv]

Never send a deposit!!!! The only time I’ve had a deposit returned was with trinity of all people. I’m sure trysts annd other agencies would also be accommodating if it’s clearly the girl not you canceling . Once you send it consider it gone

I gotta ask @Townbizz54. With the hobby being what it is and deposits being all but mandatory for a lot of women, how do you navigate around that?

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[Sexaddict]

It’s just like giving a deposit for anything, really. Never expect to get it back.

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[NJLover]

To all those saying “never expect a deposit back”. Listen, I agree with the concept of understanding that sending a deposit is likely money you’ll never see back. (I have a similar concept when gambling. I never go to the casino without “money I’m totally ok with setting on fire right now”).

But that doesn’t mean any of us should be rewarding terrible behavior from escorts.

If you noshow a meeting, a provider will blacklist you and put warnings about you on their own forums/databases. And rightfully so.

In the same way, if a provider cancels on me and refuses to give me back my deposit, I’m going to make sure its laid out on this forum and in a review on a site like TER.

There’s no reason to make threats or do something stupid to try and force them to send you back your money. But we should not be just blindly allowing providers to take advantage and have shitty business practices. Put her on blast and make sure other potential customers are informed. Thats what review sites are for.

Case in point, I will NEVER consider booking Kat Wilde because of this.

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[bruce0486]

I will say, after reading her replies, this is what happened. She had to cancel that meeting, the guy was a dick and all, but he did tell her to send half the deposit. It’s her words of course, we’re only really hearing her story, but according to her, he told her she can send only half of the deposit. Now I don’t know if she’s actually gonna send the whole deposit at this point, she says she does send the full deposit in situations where she has to cancel but I’m not sure about this time, but I did wanted to clear up the notion of her that she doesn’t send deposits back when she does.
Honestly though, this whole drama, her posting about it instead of just keeping it private between the two, and making it this big deal in social media, I wouldn’t really book her either. Which is a shame because I’ve been following her for awhile now

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[oc.businessman.33]

Full deposit should have been returned so that he could find a provider willing to travel.

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[NJLover]

I will say, after reading her replies, this is what happened. She had to cancel that meeting, the guy was a dick and all, but he did tell her to send half the deposit. It’s her words of course, we’re only really hearing her story, but according to her, he told her she can send only half of the deposit. Now I don’t know if she’s actually gonna send the whole deposit at this point, she says she does send the full deposit in situations where she has to cancel but I’m not sure about this time, but I did wanted to clear up the notion of her that she doesn’t send deposits back when she does.
Honestly though, this whole drama, her posting about it instead of just keeping it private between the two, and making it this big deal in social media, I wouldn’t really book her either. Which is a shame because I’ve been following her for awhile now

Point is though, the conversation should have never even gotten to that point. Any other business that requires a deposit, the cancellation email would have gone something like “I sincerely apologize for having to cancel, your deposit has already been refunded”.

Sex work should be no different, especially if you care about your brand. The emails that she put out indicate that there had to be some sort of conversation or request and it should have never even gotten there, at least in my opinion.

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[bruce0486]

Point is though, the conversation should have never even gotten to that point. Any other business that requires a deposit, the cancellation email would have gone something like “I sincerely apologize for having to cancel, your deposit has already been refunded”.

Sex work should be no different, especially if you care about your brand. The emails that she put out indicate that there had to be some sort of conversation or request and it should have never even gotten there, at least in my opinion.

Oh you’re right, her first response should’ve been “I can’t do today cause of the roads, I can either send you the full deposit back or attempt to reschedule, let me know” and that’s it. If he starts being rude she should’ve given the full deposit back and cut off contact, it’s simple, but she decided to make it this circus like event in hopes to find people to agree with her

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[Townbizz54]

I gotta ask @Townbizz54. With the hobby being what it is and deposits being all but mandatory for a lot of women, how do you navigate around that?

This is another reason why I try to only see pornstar, most understand the business side and that scamming one guy will do more harm than treating 1000 others amazing.
My comment was more directed towards regular escorts not pornstar or high end girls. Once you’re scammed enough you set a hard line, it’s not really about the money it’s about the principle

Deposited were not a standard until sometime around 2018 when cash app and pay pay zelle ect got more prevalent. Unfortunately many escort have used this to scam clients into sending deposits and then ghosting them, this has happed to us all and every time it happens it’s a good reminder not to send one until the next time we break down and do it and then there’s the good providers who actually show up. They are rare.
with regards to escorts there is another one usually a click of the mouse away.

With regard to pornstars and higher end escorts, it’s safer, tryst, Lourdes, pc, alluring intros ect all run a business and in general are not going to ruin there reputation my scamming a deposit, if necessary I would have no problem sending a deposit through them, infact in most cases I will send the full donation and let them work it out with the girl as they usually have to settle up with eachother anyway
pc and Lourdes know me and won’t ask me for one , and I live in a area that doesn’t get a ton of traffic so i usually deal with them for new introductions, tryst has a great reputation for all of the girls I know who use him so I would be fine send him one when the time comes. Girls booking for themselves can be hit or miss, persolly I move on to my amazing list of regulars when speed bumps come up. Once you become regulars deposits are unnecessary, hell I’ve had a couple girls let me send the donations a couple days later due to life circumstances.

Here is the deal though, I’ve been doing this for over 20 years, I know I’m a good client and have a list of references of escorts, high end girls pornstars, models ect, I likely can find a girl on my regular list who is in the same category and is well reviewed and has a good reputation and will Provide a outstanding reference

The best way around it is to visit their incall,

Beyond that there are a few things
This is the wayi do it. And I say the same thing every time, this is mostly for the regular escorts for an outcall
“Sweetheart, i understand this is a scary business and there are a lot of bad clients who wan to play games and ghost you when you come for an outcall, but unfortunately I’ve had too many bad experiences myself with girls stealing deposits so I draw a hard line regarding send them.unfortunately there are too many scammers these days and it’s a hard line with me, I would be more than willing pay for and send you an uber as a compermise but I will not sit send a deposit. I have plenty of references I could send you if that would make you feel more comfortable in meeting me, otherwise I understand you’re position and wish you the best or perhaps I could come to your incall”

They will respond one of two way, it’s probably around 50/50 from there
But the thing is there’s always another girl in my area so if she won’t come I’ll find someone, or hit up a regular.

with pornstars and high end girls it’s a little bit truck and luckily I’ve been ok and never had issues with girls on this level but it’s still very rare for me to send one. the way to go here is with like kind references, if your talking to a well know pornstar, send her the reference from a more well known pornstar, if your talking to a high end escort do the same, I’ve broken down and sent deposits to some pornstars recently slim think Vic was the last one, but Iwill send the text above and if still
Neeeded I will ask for a phone call, and tell them it just a quick you are who you say you are call and get off the phone. If they are unwilling to spend 20 seconds to set me at easy as her client and make 2k than that tells me I don’t want meet her anyway

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[Daniel80]

I think we should not normalize be dishonest and neither be disrespectful whoever is right. Being honest in both sides everyone wins.

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[bigfan47]

I personally won't send a deposit more than $200. If I get burnt for 200, that will suck, but I won't lose sleep over it. I'll hope I can reschedule or that she is ethical enough to refund me or take the initiative to reschedule but I will only ask once. I won't hound her for the deposit. If she refuses or i get the vibe she is blowing me off, or simply doesn't care about our arrangement I won't see her again and she'll lose my business permanently.

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[king-sama4u2nv]

This is another reason why I try to only see pornstar, most understand the business side and that scamming one guy will do more harm than treating 1000 others amazing.
My comment was more directed towards regular escorts not pornstar or high end girls. Once you’re scammed enough you set a hard line, it’s not really about the money it’s about the principle

Deposited were not a standard until sometime around 2018 when cash app and pay pay zelle ect got more prevalent. Unfortunately many escort have used this to scam clients into sending deposits and then ghosting them, this has happed to us all and every time it happens it’s a good reminder not to send one until the next time we break down and do it and then there’s the good providers who actually show up. They are rare.
with regards to escorts there is another one usually a click of the mouse away.

With regard to pornstars and higher end escorts, it’s safer, tryst, Lourdes, pc, alluring intros ect all run a business and in general are not going to ruin there reputation my scamming a deposit, if necessary I would have no problem sending a deposit through them, infact in most cases I will send the full donation and let them work it out with the girl as they usually have to settle up with eachother anyway
pc and Lourdes know me and won’t ask me for one , and I live in a area that doesn’t get a ton of traffic so i usually deal with them for new introductions, tryst has a great reputation for all of the girls I know who use him so I would be fine send him one when the time comes. Girls booking for themselves can be hit or miss, persolly I move on to my amazing list of regulars when speed bumps come up. Once you become regulars deposits are unnecessary, hell I’ve had a couple girls let me send the donations a couple days later due to life circumstances.

Here is the deal though, I’ve been doing this for over 20 years, I know I’m a good client and have a list of references of escorts, high end girls pornstars, models ect, I likely can find a girl on my regular list who is in the same category and is well reviewed and has a good reputation and will Provide a outstanding reference

The best way around it is to visit their incall,

Beyond that there are a few things
This is the wayi do it. And I say the same thing every time, this is mostly for the regular escorts for an outcall
“Sweetheart, i understand this is a scary business and there are a lot of bad clients who wan to play games and ghost you when you come for an outcall, but unfortunately I’ve had too many bad experiences myself with girls stealing deposits so I draw a hard line regarding send them.unfortunately there are too many scammers these days and it’s a hard line with me, I would be more than willing pay for and send you an uber as a compermise but I will not sit send a deposit. I have plenty of references I could send you if that would make you feel more comfortable in meeting me, otherwise I understand you’re position and wish you the best or perhaps I could come to your incall”

They will respond one of two way, it’s probably around 50/50 from there
But the thing is there’s always another girl in my area so if she won’t come I’ll find someone, or hit up a regular.

with pornstars and high end girls it’s a little bit truck and luckily I’ve been ok and never had issues with girls on this level but it’s still very rare for me to send one. the way to go here is with like kind references, if your talking to a well know pornstar, send her the reference from a more well known pornstar, if your talking to a high end escort do the same, I’ve broken down and sent deposits to some pornstars recently slim think Vic was the last one, but Iwill send the text above and if still
Neeeded I will ask for a phone call, and tell them it just a quick you are who you say you are call and get off the phone. If they are unwilling to spend 20 seconds to set me at easy as her client and make 2k than that tells me I don’t want meet her anyway

This was well written. What I got from this is, with your experience which is more extensive then mind, is tha the scamming has gotten so bad that sending a deposit is basically wishing your money away. This is in line with regular escorts not PS or EC. I agree with this. This is the exact reason why I stick to PS and EC, because regular escorts are not to be trusted. When I say regular I'm mainly hinting to the one foot in on foot out providers who use providing as a part-time job while content creating is their full-time. This i just y definition. This are the women who don't ask for deposits for whatever reason, however, they're also the women that will still your deposit.

I didn't know not giving deposits was with regular escorts. I assumed you were some how avoiding deposits with ECs and PSs

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[Administrator]

Well, if it were treated by any other business:
1) All deposit and deposit refund actions defined in writing up front
2) Generally speaking, if the provider breaks the contract, she should return 100% of deposit,
3) If client breaks the contract, he could forfeit a portion of the deposit (agreed upon by both parties ahead of time), but never the 100% loss of his total deposit. The service provider should not be 'entitled' to 100% of a deposit just because she supposedly had to turn down another offer to accommodate. A 'deposit' is a show of good faith and intention. It is not a promise of 100% fulfilment.

I think that is the most fair for both sides. And of course, should both parties agree to apply the deposit towards another encounter, that is always possible, but THAT deposit was for THAT encounter/transaction, not a deposit upon whatever future transaction that the provider sees fit.
That is my opinion.

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[king-sama4u2nv]

I think we should not normalize be dishonest and neither be disrespectful whoever is right. Being honest in both sides everyone wins.

This is true, but it often it feels as if you have to be luck to find a provider or client that is level headed. Either side can have the absence of common sense, but regardless the power in this dynamic is going to be in favor of the provider. They have the money giving them the choice to do with it as they please which is fucked up when you aren't dealing with a providers who has common sense. IMO

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[ludu]

Ultimately, escort deposits aren't like real estate deposits.

You can't expect the deposit back, if you were able to keep her carpet and drapes (which should match btw) in good condition.

You can't even expect the deposit back, if you never got a chance to touch her carpet, or her drapes.

Unless you are going through a reputable agency, you can expect that deposit to be gone, once you have sent it, regardless of "policy."

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[Daniel80]

That’s why I like this site because thanks to all the reviews that members done difficult it’s go wrong with a girl election

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[weird0]

Two years have passed and I’m still waiting for my refund from Arabelle Raphael lol

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