This all started from a thought a friend brought up, and now it’s been living rent-free in my head. It never really crossed my mind before because it hasn’t bothered me, but now I find myself asking: what would I be doing with the extra money I spend on providers?
It’s not a stressful question. It’s more of a “what-if” scenario. Like, if I never got into the hobby, what would that money be going toward? And knowing myself, I’d probably be doing something “responsible” with it—saving for a house, stacking a rainy-day fund, building up retirement. Basically, something that checks the boxes on what we were taught growing up about being smart with money.
Let me be clear: I don’t see spending on providers as irresponsible or a waste. Never have. I’ve always looked at it as an investment. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but in memories, experiences, moments that matter right now.
Still, I’ve been spending more this year than I ever have before—this might be my peak year, honestly. And I can’t lie, there’s a part of me that wonders what else that money could be doing. But I’m also aware that guys like
@oc.businessman.33 ,
@Townbizz54 , and
@Swytypy probably never have to think about that kind of trade-off. They’ve got it like that. I don’t. I’ve got a very average income, so when I spend this kind of money, I feel it. I see it. And then... I realize I don’t give a fuck.
Because I do care about my future. I think about it all the time. But if I focus too hard on being “responsible,” I might miss the chance to actually enjoy my life while I’m living it. I don’t travel as much as I want. I’ve never been one for flashy shit. I’m simple. Most of my money goes to my family. So what exactly is so wrong about spending some of it on me?
Sure, I could be that ultra-disciplined, plan-for-everything kind of person. But I don’t think I’d be enjoying life the way I am now. I’d be sitting around in my 60s watching reruns on TV in a house I saved 30 years to buy, wondering why I never did more when I had the chance. Fuck that. I’m trying to create memories—not just routines.
At the end of the day, living your best life is something we all want, no matter how different our paths are. I’ve had moments of post-nut clarity, sure. And common sense does play a role in how I live my life. But I wouldn’t give this up for anything. I love the hobby too damn much. Is it worth a future fuck of? Sure. I'll just say the same thing I tell everyone. As long as I'm not homeless and my bills are paid, I can give a fuck.
