As I read this, I was really trying to understand it all. A lot of it made sense to me, while the rest of it seemed as if it was grasping things out of thin air. I didn’t put this up here to create a big debate on what classifies as rape in our society, even though I know that’s what this is going to turn into. I’m more focused on what I have squared off, as it seems we as clients are placed in the lowest category of rapists on this very strange “Rape Spectrum.”When a friend sent this to me, he kind of freaked out. Having a client put in the same space as a rapist isn’t something to shrug off. Before actually reading what’s in the red square, I didn’t panic much myself then I read everything else and traded panic for bewilderment.
The red box wasn’t the first thing that caught my attention. Though it wasn’t the most outlandish result here, it was the one that hit home for me, given that I’m a client. If you read the red square, it says “Having sex with an unenthusiastic sex worker” counts as rape. The key word in that sentence being unenthusiastic. The logical side of me sees this more from a non-consensual provider/client relationship i.e., sex trafficking. Though if you were to break it down, there could be more to it, I guess. I really don’t see this mentioning us at all and it shouldn’t be mistaken that way either.
The blue box is a different story. Stealing back the money given to a provider is, in fact, the lowest thing a client can do. It’s up there with putting hands on a provider or giving them fake money, which also could be categorized as rape. I’m sure none of us do any of this and if you do, you’re a fuckin’ idiot.
The reality of consenting adults engaging in an agreed-upon exchange isn’t the same as coercion, and blurring those lines helps no one. We can acknowledge the darker sides of the industry without erasing the agency of the people who choose to be in it. If we’re going to talk about something as serious as rape, then it deserves nuance not blanket statements that only make understanding harder to reach.
