One of the biggest things about me is respect. It’s a principle I hold above almost everything else because, where I come from, respect can get you just about anything. The only thing I value more than being respected is the respect I extend to others. I treat everyone I meet with the same courtesy I expect in return—it’s just how I was raised.
That’s why an interaction I had yesterday with a provider on Blue Sky left me completely baffled. She slid into my DMs to accuse me of lacking respect for the SWer community, and the way she handled it was something else entirely.
First off, I’m not going to name this provider. While I found the interaction frustrating, I’d never go as far as to jeopardize someone’s livelihood unless it was truly warranted. Taking food off someone’s table is serious, and it would take something extreme for me to do that. So, for privacy reasons, I’ll keep her identity to myself.
Out of the blue, this provider messaged me, saying she didn’t want me interacting with her on social media. I shrugged it off, apologized, and moved on. I assumed I must have offended her in some way, though I wasn’t sure how. I figured it was best to let it go.
But she didn’t let it go. She kept going, and at that point, I got curious. I asked her to clarify where she felt I had shown disrespect. She responded by quoting a line from my bio, completely ignoring the part where I explicitly wrote,
“We respect the hobby and those in it.”
Then came the kicker. She sent me her wishlist, suggesting that buying her something would be a way to “show respect.”
I was stunned, to say the least. First, I had to take a deep breath and stop myself from responding in a way that reflected the environment I grew up in—one where disrespect like this would have been met head-on. After calming down, I politely told her to reread the rest of my bio. Her response? She doubled down, said I didn’t respect her, and blocked me.
The whole interaction was a wake-up call.
I don’t know where this provider is coming from or who’s been inflating her ego, but the audacity to approach someone like that—to demand respect in the form of gifts—is mind-boggling. To me, it felt like an attempt to guilt me into buying her something while simultaneously demanding respect, which seems completely counterproductive.
For the record, I love giving gifts to providers I have relationships with. It’s something I learned in this community: a thoughtful gift can deepen the bond between you and a provider, symbolizing that your connection goes beyond just physical intimacy. But that generosity comes from mutual respect and a genuine relationship—not someone trying to force my hand.
This experience didn’t just frustrate me; it made me reevaluate how some providers conduct themselves. While I know not all providers are like this, those who behave this way give the community a bad name.
