I’ve seen this topic broached but mostly sidestepped in a few posts on here, but I was talking with my one friend who knows about my hobby over drinks last night and I want to heavily paraphrase the conversation but get the gist out here to see what people think/know about his opinion vs. mine. Know that this conversation was specifically about PS escorts since that’s all I’ve booked but my guess is that it applies to all escorts.
J: “Just be careful. This is highly illegal.”
Me: “Actually, this isn’t illegal at all.”
J: “You’re paying women to have sex with you. That’s prostitution and it’s illegal.”
Me: “I’m doing nothing of the sort. I’m giving a gift, or donation, to women in return for spending a certain amount of time with me. What we choose to do with that time is between 2 consenting adults.”
J: “But you’re always getting sex. So that’s prostitution.”
Me: “Sex is assumed, maybe even expected, but never guaranteed. I can’t demand sex from an escort who doesn’t want it any more than I can do that to a woman who isn’t being given money for her time. THAT would be illegal and morally wrong.”
J: “So you could pay thousands of dollars an hour for nothing but talking?”
Me: “I could ‘donate’ thousands of dollars for just a conversation, yes. But even with a couple of the women I’ve had a lot of fun with, some of the time we spent was just talking anyway.”
J: “But you wouldn’t be ok if someone showed up and was only willing to talk to you and nothing else after you gave your donation.”
Me: “Not at all. I’m making a large donation with every reasonable expectation for sex. These women are sex workers by trade. It’s not like I’m making a donation to a nurse or a school teacher and assuming I’ll get sex. And any escort who doesn’t provide sex will get bad reviews and less business because of it.”
J: “So sex is assumed, expected but not guaranteed, but if it’s not provided, you’ll go tell daddy on her? So you’d punish her for not doing something that you said isn’t guaranteed?”
Me: “It’s not punishment. It’s simply telling other guys what happened between me and the girl after I made my donation. If she does what I’m hoping and expecting, then my review will say that. If she doesn’t, then my review will say that instead. Providing the services I’m hoping, assuming and expecting is definitely going to get her better reviews and more business than not providing those services.”
J: “Ok, now you said you ask in advance what kinds of things she’ll do and you pay more for some things.”
Me: “She will ask for a higher donation for spending her time doing additional things - things she may be less comfortable with or may be more expensive or time consuming for her to prepare for, or which could pose a risk to her health or career. But that’s still if she chooses to do those things with me after we agree to a higher donation amount. It’s still assumed but never guaranteed.”
J: “So how often does someone not get the services they’re expecting after making a donation to a girl?”
Me: “It’s exceptionally rare but it does happen.”
J: “I think you’re splitting hairs here. What if the cops monitor your communications with the girl or the booker and show up at the door to the hotel? Would one or both of you be arrested?”
Me: “From what I know, most local police forces and federal agencies have enough true crime to worry about that this isn’t really on their radar. And as long as my envelope with cash is marked with the word ‘donation’ on it and I haven’t emailed, texted or said anything that was recorded about a guarantee of sex or ‘paying’ for any services, what can they do exactly?”
J: “Just be careful.”
Thoughts? Is he right? Am I right? Are we both right?
J: “Just be careful. This is highly illegal.”
Me: “Actually, this isn’t illegal at all.”
J: “You’re paying women to have sex with you. That’s prostitution and it’s illegal.”
Me: “I’m doing nothing of the sort. I’m giving a gift, or donation, to women in return for spending a certain amount of time with me. What we choose to do with that time is between 2 consenting adults.”
J: “But you’re always getting sex. So that’s prostitution.”
Me: “Sex is assumed, maybe even expected, but never guaranteed. I can’t demand sex from an escort who doesn’t want it any more than I can do that to a woman who isn’t being given money for her time. THAT would be illegal and morally wrong.”
J: “So you could pay thousands of dollars an hour for nothing but talking?”
Me: “I could ‘donate’ thousands of dollars for just a conversation, yes. But even with a couple of the women I’ve had a lot of fun with, some of the time we spent was just talking anyway.”
J: “But you wouldn’t be ok if someone showed up and was only willing to talk to you and nothing else after you gave your donation.”
Me: “Not at all. I’m making a large donation with every reasonable expectation for sex. These women are sex workers by trade. It’s not like I’m making a donation to a nurse or a school teacher and assuming I’ll get sex. And any escort who doesn’t provide sex will get bad reviews and less business because of it.”
J: “So sex is assumed, expected but not guaranteed, but if it’s not provided, you’ll go tell daddy on her? So you’d punish her for not doing something that you said isn’t guaranteed?”
Me: “It’s not punishment. It’s simply telling other guys what happened between me and the girl after I made my donation. If she does what I’m hoping and expecting, then my review will say that. If she doesn’t, then my review will say that instead. Providing the services I’m hoping, assuming and expecting is definitely going to get her better reviews and more business than not providing those services.”
J: “Ok, now you said you ask in advance what kinds of things she’ll do and you pay more for some things.”
Me: “She will ask for a higher donation for spending her time doing additional things - things she may be less comfortable with or may be more expensive or time consuming for her to prepare for, or which could pose a risk to her health or career. But that’s still if she chooses to do those things with me after we agree to a higher donation amount. It’s still assumed but never guaranteed.”
J: “So how often does someone not get the services they’re expecting after making a donation to a girl?”
Me: “It’s exceptionally rare but it does happen.”
J: “I think you’re splitting hairs here. What if the cops monitor your communications with the girl or the booker and show up at the door to the hotel? Would one or both of you be arrested?”
Me: “From what I know, most local police forces and federal agencies have enough true crime to worry about that this isn’t really on their radar. And as long as my envelope with cash is marked with the word ‘donation’ on it and I haven’t emailed, texted or said anything that was recorded about a guarantee of sex or ‘paying’ for any services, what can they do exactly?”
J: “Just be careful.”
Thoughts? Is he right? Am I right? Are we both right?
