Providers asking for tips/gifts/handouts/advances

[Swytypy]

I could use some advice. I got hit up today by a provider I saw once last year for some cash to help tide her over while waiting for a paycheck. She’s not...

I could use some advice. I got hit up today by a provider I saw once last year for some cash to help tide her over while waiting for a paycheck. She’s not in mainstream anymore so isn’t really affected by the PASS hold. I’ve been trying to sponsor a tour for her for a while. She’s sometimes very responsive to texts, sometimes goes radio silent for weeks or longer.

This is the second time she asked me for cash. The first time was when we were pretty engaged in discussions about the sponsored tour a few months ago and it felt a bit opportunistic at the time, but I offered a small-ish CashApp in the hopes that it would grease the wheels to help seal the deal. It didn’t.

Having her ask a second time today right after I reached out to her for the first time in weeks feels a bit ick and I don’t want to give her anything because I don’t want to be seen as a “simp”, a wallet or set the expectation that she can do this any time she wants or needs. But I’d still like to sponsor a tour and see her because we got along really well and I think she’d be fun to spend a day with. I just don’t want to be blunt or hurtful or sound selfish or dicky in my response.

What do you guys think? Should I just say no and forget about her? Should I try to find a way to say no politely? Should I say yes and do this a second time but somehow indicate this is it?

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[tantricfox]

I could use some advice. I got hit up today by a provider I saw once last year for some cash to help tide her over while waiting for a paycheck. She’s not in mainstream anymore so isn’t really affected by the PASS hold. I’ve been trying to sponsor a tour for her for a while. She’s sometimes very responsive to texts, sometimes goes radio silent for weeks or longer.

This is the second time she asked me for cash. The first time was when we were pretty engaged in discussions about the sponsored tour a few months ago and it felt a bit opportunistic at the time, but I offered a small-ish CashApp in the hopes that it would grease the wheels to help seal the deal. It didn’t.

Having her ask a second time today right after I reached out to her for the first time in weeks feels a bit ick and I don’t want to give her anything because I don’t want to be seen as a “simp”, a wallet or set the expectation that she can do this any time she wants or needs. But I’d still like to sponsor a tour and see her because we got along really well and I think she’d be fun to spend a day with. I just don’t want to be blunt or hurtful or sound selfish or dicky in my response.

What do you guys think? Should I just say no and forget about her? Should I try to find a way to say no politely? Should I say yes and do this a second time but somehow indicate this is it?

"If you pass the same tree in the forest twice, you're lost" - Anonymous

Lessons learned, best to move on politely.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Deleted member 10784]

I mean if it's someone you're really set on seeing and it's a small amount I'd consider sending it as a "deposit" for a future session.

Otherwise just ghost and move on

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Swytypy]

I mean if it's someone you're really set on seeing and it's a small amount I'd consider sending it as a "deposit" for a future session.

Otherwise just ghost and move on

It can’t really be used as a deposit toward a future date if I’m sponsoring her because I’d be buying her flights and hotel on my own. Asking once was fine, even if the timing was a bit odd. Asking twice makes me uncomfortable. She’s not asking for a huge handout or anything. But I prefer to spend my money on bookings, sponsored tours and meals and gifts during dates or in some rare cases, pre-paying for things with select women I know I can trust, not for stuff like this. I just don’t know how to say it without sounding like a jerk or making the sponsored tour a complete no go.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Deleted member 10784]

Yea I'd just ghost her in that case and move on.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[connman]

I would politely decline to send her money. Something like: "I'm sorry but I do not lend money to anyone outside of my family." You write better than I do so I'm sure you'll come up with something.
Be prepared for her to bring up your offer to sponsor a tour by suggesting you could send her some of that money now. You also run the risk of becoming her go to when she needs money.
There have been too many threads here on the forum lately of guys trying to help and getting burned.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[PorkysReturn]

if you dont wanna seem like a simp dont make a simp move

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[connman]

I’ve been in this situation before and I’d be careful. The minute you provide cash here and there, you will be seen as sugar daddy and something will always come up. I need money for the farmers market, I need to get my nails done, etc etc.

Politely decline, say I’d still like to see you, and will gladly provide a donation when that happens.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[tantricfox]

Yea I'd just ghost her in that case and move on.

I used to move like this alot. For me it was coming from a place of "I don't owe anyone a response/explanation so whatever".

While the premise maybe true, the act of responding polite yet firmly, may prevent her from requesting again in the future while not burning any bridges. Ghosting is definitely one way to say "no", but it's less optimal then just being straightup in my opinion.

Besides, she could visit later this year or next year and if you ghost her now with the intention to text her later she'll see that time you didn't even acknowledge her.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Stayin’ Alive]

You’re more experienced at this game than I am but I say don’t. Granted I’m bitter right now still dealing with the one I’ve now spent over $1,300 on and still gotten nada in return.

She re-opened convo with me a couple weeks ago saying she wanted to “make things right” and would send the lingerie out to me asap. Still has not arrived and she conveniently “misplaced” the tracking number. So either she never sent it or post office lost it.

Anyway I digress. I say don’t send anything. All of them just want money and gifts for nothing.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Swytypy]

Thanks to everyone for the helpful and blunt advice. I crafted a lengthy (shocker) and 99% honest reply to her explaining how I’ve been burned in the past and that I don’t do this, with the one major exception being her a few months ago. I apologized for putting my issues with other women on her and made it clear I don’t think she’s like that, and said I hoped she’ll understand so we can still potentially see each other in the future.

Hoping for the best when (if?) she responds.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[connman]

Thanks to everyone for the helpful and blunt advice. I crafted a lengthy (shocker) and 99% honest reply to her explaining how I’ve been burned in the past and that I don’t do this, with the one major exception being her a few months ago. I apologized for putting my issues with other women on her and made it clear I don’t think she’s like that, and said I hoped she’ll understand so we can still potentially see each other in the future.

Hoping for the best when (if?) she responds.

I think you did the right thing. Good luck! Let me know how it turns out.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Solitaire]

Thanks to everyone for the helpful and blunt advice. I crafted a lengthy (shocker) and 99% honest reply to her explaining how I’ve been burned in the past and that I don’t do this, with the one major exception being her a few months ago. I apologized for putting my issues with other women on her and made it clear I don’t think she’s like that, and said I hoped she’ll understand so we can still potentially see each other in the future.

Hoping for the best when (if?) she responds.

This was the move. Yeah. Good work.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[nb0316]

Thanks to everyone for the helpful and blunt advice. I crafted a lengthy (shocker) and 99% honest reply to her explaining how I’ve been burned in the past and that I don’t do this, with the one major exception being her a few months ago. I apologized for putting my issues with other women on her and made it clear I don’t think she’s like that, and said I hoped she’ll understand so we can still potentially see each other in the future.

Hoping for the best when (if?) she responds.

I told Jade Maris why I couldn’t send any more money and got blocked, hope it works out better for you

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[PorkysReturn]

imma laugh if this Elena Koshka (Porn Companions)

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Swytypy]

imma laugh if this Elena Koshka (Porn Companions)

And since I've been asked twice in DM, no, it's not Aubree either.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Swytypy]

I don’t know where it’ll go from here, but this is the absolute best response I could have asked for.

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[Stayin’ Alive]

And since I've been asked twice in DM, no, it's not Aubree either.

Lucky you lol. Now I wonder if Aubree has a history of this stuff with people…

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[pescadodiablo]

Glad this appears to have worked out favorably for you! For what it's worth I thought you handled the situation very well

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.

 

[swmlk7]

She did it with me a few years ago

Upgrade your account to unlock this section.