Yesterday, I withdrew the money for my extravaganza, and the feeling it gave me was... different. Let me be clear: it wasn’t regret—not at all. But it was something. The closest comparison I can make is to Post-Nut Clarity (PNC). Again, I need to emphasize: there’s no regret here. I love seeing providers, and honestly, there’s a good chance I’ll die on top of one someday. What better way to go, right? Still, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a touch of clarity when I held all that cash in my hands.
For those unfamiliar, the pure definition of PNC is that brief moment of mental clarity after you “pop your top.” It can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few days, depending on the person. In the hobby, it often hits after we’ve climaxed, sometimes accompanied by feelings of regret—usually about the rate we just paid.
As I reflected on the feeling, I considered a few possibilities for what it might be.
At first, I thought it was nervousness or anxiety. That would make sense, given that I usually save my major indulgences for the end of the year, aside from a few spurts with providers once or twice throughout. But then I realized there’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ve already seen one of the providers, and while the other two are new, they don’t strike me as anything to be anxious about—well, maybe one of them.
Next, I wondered if it was empowerment. The fact that I’m able to do this for myself, to indulge in something that makes me happy, says a lot about my mindset and how I approach life as a whole. But after mulling that over, I realized I’m not here to overanalyze—I’m just here to enjoy my life. So, it’s not that either.
Finally, I landed on what it must be: excitement. I’m about to spend time with beautiful women, strolling out and about while people glance at us, wondering how I’m with her. They’ll figure it out two seconds later, and I couldn’t care less. I’m happy, and this is the price of that happiness. Does this feeling need a name as the opposite of PNC? Maybe, maybe not—but I’m here for it.
That said, this doesn’t mean I won’t experience PNC afterward. There’s a strong chance I will—because, hey, I’m human. But I don’t think it’ll diminish this feeling. The two can exist separately, and I’m ready to embrace it all.
For those unfamiliar, the pure definition of PNC is that brief moment of mental clarity after you “pop your top.” It can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few days, depending on the person. In the hobby, it often hits after we’ve climaxed, sometimes accompanied by feelings of regret—usually about the rate we just paid.
As I reflected on the feeling, I considered a few possibilities for what it might be.
At first, I thought it was nervousness or anxiety. That would make sense, given that I usually save my major indulgences for the end of the year, aside from a few spurts with providers once or twice throughout. But then I realized there’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ve already seen one of the providers, and while the other two are new, they don’t strike me as anything to be anxious about—well, maybe one of them.
Next, I wondered if it was empowerment. The fact that I’m able to do this for myself, to indulge in something that makes me happy, says a lot about my mindset and how I approach life as a whole. But after mulling that over, I realized I’m not here to overanalyze—I’m just here to enjoy my life. So, it’s not that either.
Finally, I landed on what it must be: excitement. I’m about to spend time with beautiful women, strolling out and about while people glance at us, wondering how I’m with her. They’ll figure it out two seconds later, and I couldn’t care less. I’m happy, and this is the price of that happiness. Does this feeling need a name as the opposite of PNC? Maybe, maybe not—but I’m here for it.
That said, this doesn’t mean I won’t experience PNC afterward. There’s a strong chance I will—because, hey, I’m human. But I don’t think it’ll diminish this feeling. The two can exist separately, and I’m ready to embrace it all.
