Beyond the many women we’ve all seen—or the similar situations we’ve shared—it’s those common experiences that help define this community. When we recognize...
Beyond the many women we’ve all seen—or the similar situations we’ve shared—it’s those common experiences that help define this community. When we recognize those shared mistakes and patterns, we can guide the next wave of newbies. We can help them avoid being too aggressive (in person or over email), encourage them to understand both sides of the hobby—not just their own—and most importantly, keep them from becoming that guy.
And we all know that guy… because at some point, we probably were that guy.
You know the one. The guy who thinks it’s okay to write his entire life story in the memo line of a payment. Just to use a recent example—my guy here is doing way too much. Not only is he tipping off the bank’s algorithm (yes, those messages are scanned), but he’s also putting the provider’s account in serious jeopardy.
Now, I get why he did it. He wants everything to be crystal clear, no room for confusion. I’ve done a version of that myself. Not like this guy with a whole paragraph, but I’ve jotted down 5-6 words in the memo just to help the provider connect the dots. This misses the mark by a long shot.
Funny enough, I just wrote something yesterday about the 3-email rule—and technically, this guy booked in one. Thought it was without going through screening or getting a confirmation on his date; guess it counts. A lot of providers would love that… if only he hadn’t come in so hot and heavy. Sounds weird to say, but there’s such a thing as being too forward.
This is just too much. If the memo line isn’t already a red flag, then sending a deposit without prior confirmation definitely is.
None of us need to write anything this extensive—whether in a memo line or an email. Providers don’t particularly care about your whole backstory (they’ll probably hear about it in person anyway). Keep it short. Keep it clear. And above all, keep it respectful.
