There are all different kinds of clients in the hobby. It’s rare to find two who are exactly alike in personality, taste in providers, and overall preferences. Still, we all share the common goal of wanting to see providers, which is what makes these communities so great.
However, there’s a small minority within the community that often gets talked about but rarely sees real consequences. I’m referring to the negotiators and boundary pushers—those who use begging as a tactic to get what they want from a provider, regardless of how it makes her feel.
Negotiating prices is one thing, but begging is something else entirely. By now, we should all understand that trying to negotiate a provider’s rate is one of the most disrespectful things you can do. As clients, we never negotiate up in favor of the provider—only down in our own favor. The worst part? We already know the rate before reaching out, yet some still try to weasel out of paying $50 or $100, even though that amount is insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
Then there are the boundary pushers—clients who simply cannot take no for an answer. There’s nothing wrong with asking a provider a question; if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. That’s not boundary pushing—it’s just getting informed. The problem starts when a client refuses to accept no and continues to pester the provider after receiving an answer he didn’t like.
These are despicable traits in the hobby—or at least, I thought they were universally condemned until I came across a client literally begging via text for a provider to lower her rate to accommodate his lack of funds. This came after he had already begged her multiple times to do something she wasn’t comfortable with.
In the first exchange, you can see the client pushing boundaries by asking if he could go without protection during their next meeting. After receiving an immediate no, that should have been the end of it. But instead, he persisted, continuing to push. He did eventually respect the provider’s boundary, which is something, but the issue should have ended much sooner. Then came the begging.
The following messages are nothing more than a client haggling for a lower rate. From what I can deduce, he was trying to negotiate GREEK, starting at $300, then $340, then $400, finally ending at $450—all while the provider never wavered. Honestly, I’m surprised she entertained the conversation for as long as she did.
From my point of view, this is one of the most unattractive things a client can do. I’ve heard of providers literally getting sexual aroused on just from being booked, so I can only imagine that the opposite reaction would be their vaginas drying up like the Sahara. I’m not saying a provider won’t still book you if she agrees to your terms—money is money to some—but any attraction or enthusiasm she might have had in that moment? Gone.
And beyond attraction, this is about self-respect.
Begging should never be a tactic in this hobby. As men, as clients, we shouldn’t be begging for anything. Know what you want, and get it the right way—one that doesn’t make a provider second-guess responding to your message.
However, there’s a small minority within the community that often gets talked about but rarely sees real consequences. I’m referring to the negotiators and boundary pushers—those who use begging as a tactic to get what they want from a provider, regardless of how it makes her feel.Negotiating prices is one thing, but begging is something else entirely. By now, we should all understand that trying to negotiate a provider’s rate is one of the most disrespectful things you can do. As clients, we never negotiate up in favor of the provider—only down in our own favor. The worst part? We already know the rate before reaching out, yet some still try to weasel out of paying $50 or $100, even though that amount is insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
Then there are the boundary pushers—clients who simply cannot take no for an answer. There’s nothing wrong with asking a provider a question; if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. That’s not boundary pushing—it’s just getting informed. The problem starts when a client refuses to accept no and continues to pester the provider after receiving an answer he didn’t like.
These are despicable traits in the hobby—or at least, I thought they were universally condemned until I came across a client literally begging via text for a provider to lower her rate to accommodate his lack of funds. This came after he had already begged her multiple times to do something she wasn’t comfortable with.
In the first exchange, you can see the client pushing boundaries by asking if he could go without protection during their next meeting. After receiving an immediate no, that should have been the end of it. But instead, he persisted, continuing to push. He did eventually respect the provider’s boundary, which is something, but the issue should have ended much sooner. Then came the begging.
The following messages are nothing more than a client haggling for a lower rate. From what I can deduce, he was trying to negotiate GREEK, starting at $300, then $340, then $400, finally ending at $450—all while the provider never wavered. Honestly, I’m surprised she entertained the conversation for as long as she did.
From my point of view, this is one of the most unattractive things a client can do. I’ve heard of providers literally getting sexual aroused on just from being booked, so I can only imagine that the opposite reaction would be their vaginas drying up like the Sahara. I’m not saying a provider won’t still book you if she agrees to your terms—money is money to some—but any attraction or enthusiasm she might have had in that moment? Gone.
And beyond attraction, this is about self-respect.
Begging should never be a tactic in this hobby. As men, as clients, we shouldn’t be begging for anything. Know what you want, and get it the right way—one that doesn’t make a provider second-guess responding to your message.
