When it comes to the word manipulative, I hear it come from our side more than I do from providers. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I haven’t heard about a provider being manipulative in her own way almost to the point of making it an art form, so to speak. But seeing it play out here makes me believe that we can be just as manipulative as a provider is maybe even more.The provider was understandably displeased with how the client was being wily here. Some of us might see it as a client just getting too comfortable with a provider as we often do but it’s also easy to pick up on a little devious intent in the client’s text. To write out the full, “I’m not phone savvy, but I texted a local, and she sent pics of her for nothing, so I’ll probably go with her. All it takes is one pic to get me interested.”
Reading that back, it’s pretty clear there’s no real reason to say all that. Even if clients can get comfortable fast, this doesn’t sound like someone being friendly it sounds slick, like he’s trying to get something. It comes off more like a sly way of getting the provider to send a picture, when he could’ve just asked. Either way, the answer probably still would’ve been no, but the way he went about it makes him look manipulative at least from the provider’s perspective.
I can’t really be mad at either side here. If the client hadn’t come across so manipulative or at least appeared that way asking for a picture wouldn’t have been a big deal. The provider might not have liked it, but it’s something we’ve all done as clients at some point. You want to be sure you’re seeing the right person it happens. Then you have the provider’s point of view, where it feels like someone’s trying to goad her into sending a picture. She’s going to react how she feels in that moment. No doubt she deals with this kind of thing daily and can spot manipulation when she sees it.
The way I see it, people are going to be people. There isn’t one side manipulating the other more even though, from a client’s perspective, it might look like providers have us beat by a mile. Again, that’s our perspective. There are a million different ways people can manipulate each other, whether they realize it or not. The best you can do is what the provider did here call it out, be upfront, and make it known before things go too far. Human nature is human nature.
