I feel many clients don't fully understand what it is that they are seeking in this hobby. Yes, for some it's just sex, but for just as many if not more it's intimacy and connection. Unfortunately for most cases (I'm aware not all) a traditional client-provider relationship is not going to be able to fulfill that need, or at least to the level they are yearning for. Often these clients don't realize this until they're already neck deep in powerful feelings of attachment. The fact these interactions involve sex, the most intimate act a person can do with another, it's normal these feelings of attachment develop. Humans are literally hardwired for this to happen. Some are better at navigating these feelings than others, or have properly prepared themselves for them ahead of time.
Unfortunately this client did not fully prepare himself for what he was in for, nor did he handle the situation like any decent adult should. When he started to get attached, and you kindly and firmly voiced your boundaries, he should have reflected on his attachment to you. He should have appreciated the time with you that led him to develop those feelings, that informed him he could have them in the first place as well as tell him how he might develop them with someone else in another, perhaps more traditional relationship. Instead however he got swept up in the fantasy, and falsely believed you owed him something more. Because these client-provider relationships include such intimate acts, I think many believe they are owed more, consciously or unconsciously, even when the lines and boundaries are clearly outlined.
I don't know the history of this guy, but he has a lot of work to do on himself and learn how these and other kinds of relationships work. I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't had many worthwhile relationships with women. This behavior reeks of a juvenile and underdeveloped view of relationships. Unfortunately folks like him often seek out the hobby because they find themselves incapable of forming these kind of connections in their own lives. However if and when things blow up, providers are caught in the blast.
I'm very sorry you got caught up in this Tanya. Hope he gets the message and learns from this so another person doesn't have to go through what you did. I hope this becomes a distant and forgotten memory for you soon!
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