I recently had an experience with a PS provider I saw earlier this year regarding gifts that left a seriously bad taste in my mouth.
I’ve given her cash and items off her wish list a few times both before and after I’ve seen her, and gave her generous gifts the day we met. She was always grateful and when she bought things with the gift cards I gave her and when she received items I bought from her wish list, she always sent me pictures and/or videos on OF (on her own, not at my request). She runs her own OF. We’ve had a lot of conversations on there and gotten along well.
In September, I bought her a few new things and said I couldn’t wait to see a picture of her wearing the thong I had bought her. After a couple of weeks, she hadn’t sent anything except a thank you so I asked about it and she apologized and said she’d get to it soon. After another few weeks, I asked again and got the same response. We had numerous unrelated conversations in between. I then took nearly a month off OF while I was dealing with my father’s failing health and eventual passing. When I got back online and saw she still hadn’t sent anything, I told her I was leaving OF since my subscription to her was ending the next day and she was the only person I followed on there anymore and that she could send me what she promised via DM on X. I wrote it the most polite way I could, despite being very disappointed. The day after my subscription ended, she posted on X saying that she had a video for the guy on OF who had sent her something but couldn’t find his account on X and that he should DM her. Of course, I assumed it was me so I sent her a DM. I got no response. After several days, I sent another DM to clarify why I was writing, making sure the 1-line preview of my message included my OF name, and again got no response. After several more days, I assumed I had done something horribly wrong to piss her off so I wrote an apology saying I’m sorry for whatever it was I did, but I didn’t know what I had done wrong.
In response, I received several minutes of audio messages of her telling me how annoying I had been and how she can’t believe I would stop supporting her by unsubscribing to her OF and then look for free stuff on X, how she’d thanked me for what I’d sent her, and talking about my ego and saying things about me and my personality that aren’t true. As a sex worker who complains about people judging her without knowing her, I found this incredibly hypocritical. I went back and forth with her a couple of times with me again apologizing for whatever I did wrong but that I didn’t think I was asking for anything different than what we’d already established was our baseline. From the responses I got, it was obvious that she had it in her mind that I was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve anything more than what I’d gotten.
Then I got drunk and posted something on X asking other sex workers if I was overreacting to the situation, explaining my side of the story in 280 characters (without calling her out by name). She doesn’t follow me on X and even though I have a decent following of porn stars who she’s friends with, they never really reply to my posts so I assumed she’d never see my post. I received an angry audio message the next morning claiming that what I put in my post was not true and how obnoxious it was for me to do that. She even asked me for my CashApp account and a receipt of what I bought for her so she could refund what I’d spent. I decided to give up and told her I don’t want my money back and just want to stop hurting her, so let’s forget it ever happened, and I took down my drunk tweet from the night before.
I still don’t believe I did anything wrong (other than that tweet, which only reflects negatively on me, if anyone), but I didn’t want her bad mouthing me to her circle of friends telling her side of the story and hurting my reputation or hurting my chances of enjoying the hobby with other women.
If this is how she treats someone who spent thousands of dollars on her in return for a brief in-person encounter where we spent half our time having a wonderful conversation, and a few minutes here and there of typing to each other over the last year, I can’t imagine how she treats people who never supported her at all.
This interaction has made me realize that I will never go back on OF and am going to be very frugal giving any kind of gifts to anyone unless I’m extremely confident they will respect and appreciate where it’s coming from.
This is why I wrote what I wrote earlier about keeping my gifts in person and not really tipping anymore.
