Grind My Gears: No AA Policy

[Swytypy]

I see the point but as Men, we're used to rejection especially when it comes to dating or providing.

I'm sure there are plenty of Asian cats that are rejected just from social perception. If a provider doesn't want to see me cuz of my race.....good. that's one less person to weed out.

Being rejected as a man for being a man is one thing. Yes, most of us are used to that. But being rejected for race or skin color seems more hurtful.

Years ago, I saw something on TV and I really don’t remember the exact format anymore, whether it was an interview with a real person or a tv show, but it was an AA woman who said she was discriminated against on a daily basis for one of many possible reasons, depending on the biases of the person she was dealing with. She described herself as a gay black overweight disabled female veteran, and then said something along the lines of “every adjective I use to describe myself opens me up to a new way of being discriminated against”. That’s quite a load to carry.

So, yes, men are rejected by women for just being men or for any number of other reasons. For me, it could be my height, age, weight, or other things I’m not keenly aware of. Skin color isn’t one of them for me and shouldn’t be for anyone. Don’t we all have enough adjectives that describe us that people can use as the basis of their biases?

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[shion]

That's life, bruh.

Part of life.

If a dude considers himself a High Value Man by Kevin Samuels standards....but he really isn't high valued if his feelings are hurt cause a racist white girl won't let him pay to fuck her.
If that hurts his feelings, that's being weak.

Heb should minimize his interaction with white people until he develop a better sense of self.

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[Deleted member 1505]

I saw an ad once that said something about hygiene and then went on to say, “Indian men, I’m looking at you” and I always thought that was so fucked up. And see that’s what I mean. Because this practice isn’t government regulated, there are no repercussions for voicing those prejudices but IMO it’s just a reminder that those feelings exist irl. But people are muzzled by whatever policies exist in their field. But in reality, it probably doesn’t change much for us. Hear me out, I’ve seen girls who claim they don’t see AA, and I know there are girls with certain policies that still won’t see certain white clients for whatever reason, etc. Like this used to bother me but the more I think about it, the more I feel like it’s not even that real of a thing. Sometimes a girl just won’t see you for whatever reason and I’m okay with that.

If 1/20 times a provider won’t see me because of my race and makes it known that’s the reason that sucks, but I’m sure the next guy has missed out on at least one date as well, whether he knows the reason or not. Whether it’s an intrinsic quality or not. Like, just focus on you and enjoy the extra cash you didn’t waste. She was probably a catfish anyway

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[Swytypy]

Reading some of these comments, it feels like I'm bothered by the idea of a no AA policy more than some of you on here who are/would be directly affected by it, so I'll just back away slowly and let everyone else discuss this however they want to discuss it

Happy Friday, friends.

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[Tywin22]

Reading some of these comments, it feels like I'm bothered by the idea of a no AA policy more than some of you on here who are/would be directly affected by it, so I'll just back away slowly and let everyone else discuss this however they want to discuss it

Happy Friday, friends.

Lol yeah it sucks mate but it's the way of the world. You hear it from athletes from the 60s all the way to athletes like Tiger Woods now. Even that billionaire ex-Goldman banker Robert Smith, who encountered racism in his industry. Can't change hearts and minds that aren't open to change so good riddance to those who are at least open about it; they'll learn how limited their careers are. To those that are open, clarity is clear to see: they have had way more success in the industry and likely in the escort industry, so c'est la vie.

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[shion]

Reading some of these comments, it feels like I'm bothered by the idea of a no AA policy more than some of you on here who are/would be directly affected by it, so I'll just back away slowly and let everyone else discuss this however they want to discuss it

Happy Friday, friends.

Hey man, all input is appreciated whether we agree or not.
I would like to know beforehand which providers have a No AA Policy so I won't waste my time reaching out.
If you read my other thread, it cross my mind that maybe that particular provider might have such a policy since shevwas giving me the runaround. Okay then, no biggie.

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[inspectahjamescahtah]

I see the point but as Men, we're used to rejection especially when it comes to dating or providing.

I'm sure there are plenty of Asian cats that are rejected just from social perception. If a provider doesn't want to see me cuz of my race.....good. that's one less person to weed out.

My Taiwanese friend has told me that he’s never gotten rejected from any provider he’s ever wanted to see (assuming it’s East Asian men you’re talking about when you say Asian cats).

However, he also tells me there’s a trade off: all the providers welcome him, but women in the real world almost always reject him. He may have the privilege of never being rejected by a provider because of his race, but women he approached in real life constantly reject him because of his race and all the social perceptions and stereotypes that follow being an Asian dude in the states. I’ve seen this real time when I go out to clubs and bars with him, and women in the real world aren’t exactly very hush hush about this either. They are VERY loud and open about flatly rejecting Asian dudes for reasons way beyond his control, and even reasons that I know are very untrue.

He’s also not one to discriminate. He sees white, black, Latina, Asian, middle eastern, etc. providers. He loves everyone. It sucks that almost all women he encounters dislikes him.

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[king-sama4u2nv]

Looking at this first glance, I thought about locking the thread but everyone is being respectful with their own opinion. I can't knock anyone for having their opinion on one of the things the world revolves around.

I already gave my two cents when it comes to the AA policy, so there's no need in repeating myself. I understand why the policy is in place and as a black man I know that is an unescapable reality that I along with many other men of color have to deal with it. It's just very annoying that even in something I've built my life around at this point, it also has to exist here. When I say here I don't mean this community, I mean the hobby in general.

Like, I travel often and that constant reminder that I'm black rears it's ugly face every time and I'm use to it. I can't help but not be use to it at this point, so I shrug it off. Still, one would like to not have that constant reminder, so you go to the hobby and it's even there also. I could avoid it, but it just makes itself apparent at times.

So when people say, "You gotta have thicker skin." Trust and believe I've had that thick skin since the day I was born. I may not be crying in the corner with the shower running over my head but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. That's just me.

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[shion]

My Taiwanese friend has told me that he’s never gotten rejected from any provider he’s ever wanted to see (assuming it’s East Asian men you’re talking about when you say Asian cats).

However, he also tells me there’s a trade off: all the providers welcome him, but women in the real world almost always reject him. He may have the privilege of never being rejected by a provider because of his race, but women he approached in real life constantly reject him because of his race and all the social perceptions and stereotypes that follow being an Asian dude in the states. I’ve seen this real time when I go out to clubs and bars with him, and women in the real world aren’t exactly very hush hush about this either. They are VERY loud and open about flatly rejecting Asian dudes for reasons way beyond his control, and even reasons that I know are very untrue.

He’s also not one to discriminate. He sees white, black, Latina, Asian, middle eastern, etc. providers. He loves everyone. It sucks that almost all women he encounters dislikes him.

Its hard, bruh.
There's was a poll done a few years saying Asian Men and Black Women were the least likely to get interest on Dating Sites.

From my own personal experience, its hard for brothers when dating Hawaiian or Korean chicks......but when I was living in Oakland, I saw more young Chinese women with White Guys than I did strictly Chinese couples.

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[shion]

Looking at this first glance, I thought about locking the thread but everyone is being respectful with their own opinion. I can't knock anyone for having their opinion on one of the things the world revolves around.

I already gave my two cents when it comes to the AA policy, so there's no need in repeating myself. I understand why the policy is in place and as a black man I know that is an unescapable reality that I along with many other men of color have to deal with it. It's just very annoying that even in something I've built my life around at this point, it also has to exist here. When I say here I don't mean this community, I mean the hobby in general.

Like, I travel often and that constant reminder that I'm black rears it's ugly face every time and I'm use to it. I can't help but not be use to it at this point, so I shrug it off. Still, one would like to not have that constant reminder, so you go to the hobby and it's even there also. I could avoid it, but it just makes itself apparent at times.

So when people say, "You gotta have thicker skin." Trust and believe I've had that thick skin since the day I was born. I may not be crying in the corner with the shower running over my head but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. That's just me.

Please, don't lock the thread.
This is some of the most honest dialogue about race ....just among dudes, I've witness in a minute.


Forgive me, if I sound insensitive.
That's wasn't my intent.
I just want us as black men to keep things in perspective. Our forebears have survived too much stuff for us to cower in the corner cuz a white girl won't date us.

We're better than that.

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[Swytypy]

Please, don't lock the thread.
This is some of the most honest dialogue about race ....just among dudes, I've witness in a minute.

And as a white man who considers himself an ally, I take pride in listening to the perspectives of everyone so I can learn and adapt my way of thinking to new information. And I very much appreciate being allowed to add my thoughts and perspectives without being laughed off as some white guy who doesn’t get it. That’s not common when it comes to race relations and I have huge respect for every participant in this chat for treating me as a valid voice with a perspective worth listening to (or at least not putting down simply because of who I am).

This type of conversation is enlightening to me and as long as it stays civil and friendly as it has so far, I also implore you to keep it open.

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[king-sama4u2nv]

Its hard, bruh.
There's was a poll done a few years saying Asian Men and Black Women were the least likely to get interest on Dating Sites.

From my own personal experience, its hard for brothers when dating Hawaiian or Korean chicks......but when I was living in Oakland, I saw more young Chinese women with White Guys than I did strictly Chinese couples.

Nah, I'm not closing it. These types of conversations are the ones that make a community better. Everyone deserves to have their opinion on things regardless of how I or anyone feels about it.

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[sezz66]

Reading some of these comments, it feels like I'm bothered by the idea of a no AA policy more than some of you on here who are/would be directly affected by it, so I'll just back away slowly and let everyone else discuss this however they want to discuss it

Happy Friday, friends.

You're not alone my dude. Sometimes you just burn out and get sick of dealing with it though. There's no way to change this attitude in people. One more reason people are terrible.

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