Planning a sponsored tour is going badly

[AFlawedMind]

A couple of months back I offered to sponsor a tour to my city to a companion I’d been wanting to meet for a while but stuff got in the way, and paid a...

A couple of months back I offered to sponsor a tour to my city to a companion I’d been wanting to meet for a while but stuff got in the way, and paid a deposit with the understanding that if there weren’t enough takers we’d turn that deposit into a visit in her home city for a later date. After agreeing on a date, we’ve now rescheduled a total of 3-4 times (starting from January) — all at her request/doing. The rescheduling isn’t my problem: the lack of planning what we’re going to do during our date is and my OCD and anxiety are driving me up the wall about this. Despite an email thread of 54 emails, 40+ of which are directly about planning the date, it took until today for her assistant (who took over communication 2 days ago after I expressed my dissatisfaction at the lack of communication) to answer 75% of the outstanding questions (literally: dining options and touristy interests).

Presumably by this time she’s booked stuff, but it got rescheduled again and frankly this has gotten exhausting to the point that I’m just not interested in seeing her, despite me thinking we’d have fun on the date itself. How would I bring up cancelling given that I’m sponsoring the tour? If I don’t cancel, how do I best communicate my dissatisfaction?

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[Townbizz54]

Ummm…. There’s a lot wrong with this situation

I hope that you didn’t give her a large deposit. You might as well consider that money gone at this point.

Sponsoring tours isn’t for everyone. There’s a lot that goes into, and it doesn’t work everywhere even though everyone wants to be like swipity.

Probably would be best for you to talk to her about simply shifting the the date to a fmty and or a traditional overnight, perhaps you could meet her in a random city and go to a nice dinner and concert or something. Then you have a plan for what your going to do and she doesn’t keep pushing the date on you because she can’t get other work


Also. And don’t get hurt by this. But Why would you send a deposit to then pay for her expenses? Think about the logic behind that concept.
If you’re “sponsoring” it, that should mean you’re the one paying for it so that you are able to facilitate any refund and cancellation, not sending her thousands of dollars before meeting. It’s sounds like you are not working with an agency and have that protection. Your a trick sending money to a ho. Remember that.
The concept behind sponsoring a tour is that the girl doesn’t put out money on flights and hotels and meals and that makes the trip more profitable, if you can send her 2k to cover a room and flight why would she be motivated to book the room or flight instead of simply keeping your money and coming up with excuses as to why it keeps getting cancelled. But if you are the one booking the flights and hotels then she remains motivated to get on the flight come see you and then stay to make money after seeing you.

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[Swytypy]

The concept behind sponsoring a tour is that the girl doesn’t put out money on flights and hotels and meals and that makes the trip more profitable, if you can send her 2k to cover a room and flight why would she be motivated to book the room or flight instead of simply keeping your money and coming up with excuses as to why it keeps getting cancelled. But if you are the one booking the flights and hotels then she remains motivated to get on the flight come see you and then stay to make money after seeing you.

Even though Mr. Somewhat Sensitive can’t ever get my name right and doesn’t sugar coat anything, this is all exactly right. Unfortunately, this information only helps you from this point forward.

I’m not sure how to help you with your current situation, other than echoing that you shouldn’t put another penny in. Being on the waiting end of poor communication is extremely stressful and agonizing, believe me I know. Hopefully you’re able to work things out and make this date happen.

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[AFlawedMind]

Ummm…. There’s a lot wrong with this situation

I hope that you didn’t give her a large deposit. You might as well consider that money gone at this point.

Sponsoring tours isn’t for everyone. There’s a lot that goes into, and it doesn’t work everywhere even though everyone wants to be like swipity.

Probably would be best for you to talk to her about simply shifting the the date to a fmty and or a traditional overnight, perhaps you could meet her in a random city and go to a nice dinner and concert or something. Then you have a plan for what your going to do and she doesn’t keep pushing the date on you because she can’t get other work


Also. And don’t get hurt by this. But Why would you send a deposit to then pay for her expenses? Think about the logic behind that concept.
If you’re “sponsoring” it, that should mean you’re the one paying for it so that you are able to facilitate any refund and cancellation, not sending her thousands of dollars before meeting. It’s sounds like you are not working with an agency and have that protection. Your a trick sending money to a ho. Remember that.
The concept behind sponsoring a tour is that the girl doesn’t put out money on flights and hotels and meals and that makes the trip more profitable, if you can send her 2k to cover a room and flight why would she be motivated to book the room or flight instead of simply keeping your money and coming up with excuses as to why it keeps getting cancelled. But if you are the one booking the flights and hotels then she remains motivated to get on the flight come see you and then stay to make money after seeing you.

Most people don’t want to risk accidentally leaking personal information by booking stuff together — keep in mind that if I booked them, I’d need to know her legal name. In hindsight, one of my credit cards offers virtual numbers that I could’ve given, but again — the rescheduling doesn’t bother me, the lack of communication in planning the date itself does.

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[AFlawedMind]

Even though Mr. Somewhat Sensitive can’t ever get my name right and doesn’t sugar coat anything, this is all exactly right. Unfortunately, this information only helps you from this point forward.

I’m not sure how to help you with your current situation, other than echoing that you shouldn’t put another penny in. Being on the waiting end of poor communication is extremely stressful and agonizing, believe me I know. Hopefully you’re able to work things out and make this date happen.

What’s wild is that she doesn’t have a written policy on sponsored tours because she barely advertises she does them and people don’t really take her up on it (wild guess why, I guess). IDK how I’d bring up cancelling at this stage, particularly since her regular tour policy is that cancellations during a tour might result in the full rate being due. Her regular cancellation policy is just keeping the deposit if within 72 hours.

TBH, this was an experiment to see if sponsoring a tour would be any better than the one FMTY that I’ve done and it’s turned into an abject failure — which is a shame, because the provider in question has a good reputation and I was excited to meet her.

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[connman]

swipity

Mr. Somewhat Sensitive

Best laugh of the day.

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[BurnerAccount1]

A couple of months back I offered to sponsor a tour to my city to a companion I’d been wanting to meet for a while but stuff got in the way, and paid a deposit with the understanding that if there weren’t enough takers we’d turn that deposit into a visit in her home city for a later date. After agreeing on a date, we’ve now rescheduled a total of 3-4 times (starting from January) — all at her request/doing. The rescheduling isn’t my problem: the lack of planning what we’re going to do during our date is and my OCD and anxiety are driving me up the wall about this. Despite an email thread of 54 emails, 40+ of which are directly about planning the date, it took until today for her assistant (who took over communication 2 days ago after I expressed my dissatisfaction at the lack of communication) to answer 75% of the outstanding questions (literally: dining options and touristy interests).

Presumably by this time she’s booked stuff, but it got rescheduled again and frankly this has gotten exhausting to the point that I’m just not interested in seeing her, despite me thinking we’d have fun on the date itself. How would I bring up cancelling given that I’m sponsoring the tour? If I don’t cancel, how do I best communicate my dissatisfaction?

Just go radio silent and never talk to her again.

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[cmiles76]

The fact that the email thread got up to 54 emails is already a problem. The fact that she has an assistant and things still can't get locked down is another problem. I don't think I would have let her get past 5 emails without some concrete plans if she was hoping to spend MY money. I've already established that I'm very selfish when it comes to the hobby, so even the idea of sponsoring a tour doesn't really appeal to me since I'd be more interested in having the woman to myself rather than paying for her to have a room to book other appointments on my dime and I get to spend time with her once she's exhausted from those appointments...

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[Townbizz54]

Best laugh of the day.

Mr instigator

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[Townbizz54]

Just go radio silent and never talk to her again.

He has money to lose by doing so

What’s wild is that she doesn’t have a written policy on sponsored tours because she barely advertises she does them and people don’t really take her up on it (wild guess why, I guess). IDK how I’d bring up cancelling at this stage, particularly since her regular tour policy is that cancellations during a tour might result in the full rate being due. Her regular cancellation policy is just keeping the deposit if within 72 hours.

TBH, this was an experiment to see if sponsoring a tour would be any better than the one FMTY that I’ve done and it’s turned into an abject failure — which is a shame, because the provider in question has a good reputation and I was excited to meet her.

“sponsoring” works best 1 of 2 ways.
First is through an agency as I assume sweetie pie does 95% of the time. That’s a win for all 3 parties involved in that case.
The other is with a girl you previously know well enough to share that information amongst yourselves.

But regardless the girl still has to pick a date well enough in advance and plan to actually show up and advertise that she will be there which is what never happened in this case

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[AFlawedMind]

He has money to lose by doing so

“sponsoring” works best 1 of 2 ways.
First is through an agency as I assume sweetie pie does 95% of the time. That’s a win for all 3 parties involved in that case.
The other is with a girl you previously know well enough to share that information amongst yourselves.

But regardless the girl still has to pick a date well enough in advance and plan to actually show up and advertise that she will be there which is what never happened in this case

To her credit, she did advertise the tour but yeah clearly she didn’t plan well enough (aside from the 3rd reschedule which was for health reasons) to actually stick to a given schedule. Another lesson is to not start off a first time meeting with this kind of a thing, as too many things can go wrong. In any case, you mentioned not giving her anymore more money but how would I bring up cancelling in this context?

As for the agency route:

1. The companion in question is completely independent, if that’s who you were referring to with “sweetie pie.”
2. It’s not that I don’t trust agencies to deliver (Tryst in particular seems pretty cool and I appreciate his activity here), but that I don’t trust the safety of my personal info from law enforcement if they come with a warrant. This probably warrants its own post (I actually haven’t found one here covering this topic), so I won’t go into detail here. That said, paying a bit more to avoid these planning headaches would be my preferred solution.

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[AFlawedMind]

The fact that the email thread got up to 54 emails is already a problem. The fact that she has an assistant and things still can't get locked down is another problem. I don't think I would have let her get past 5 emails without some concrete plans if she was hoping to spend MY money. I've already established that I'm very selfish when it comes to the hobby, so even the idea of sponsoring a tour doesn't really appeal to me since I'd be more interested in having the woman to myself rather than paying for her to have a room to book other appointments on my dime and I get to spend time with her once she's exhausted from those appointments...

Her assistant didn’t get involved until 3-4 emails ago. The provider wanted to handle this herself before that because it’d been a topic she brought up on her Twitter and she doesn’t have listed policies since it’s such a rare thing for her to do. As for 5 emails, I agree — I let it go on way too long before drawing a line in the sand. Also, I’m actually her first client of that tour, much less the day, but I don’t really care about that. If she’s professional, that doesn’t matter to me — the issue is that she’s not being professional.

As for sponsoring a tour itself, it was really intended to do two things:

1. Establish whether it’d actually be easier and/or cheaper than a FMTY (from this site + Twitter, I gather that it is usually, if not always, cheaper)
2. Even if it isn’t cheaper in a single instance, I wanted to spur her interest in touring my city so that long term it becomes cheaper than doing a FMTY each time.

My city (my entire state, really) doesn’t have a particularly good reputation for touring (at least since COVID, if not before), so I’m trying to do my part in turning that reputation around

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[Townbizz54]

Her assistant didn’t get involved until 3-4 emails ago. The provider wanted to handle this herself before that because it’d been a topic she brought up on her Twitter and she doesn’t have listed policies since it’s such a rare thing for her to do. As for 5 emails, I agree — I let it go on way too long before drawing a line in the sand. Also, I’m actually her first client of that tour, much less the day, but I don’t really care about that. If she’s professional, that doesn’t matter to me — the issue is that she’s not being professional.

As for sponsoring a tour itself, it was really intended to do two things:

1. Establish whether it’d actually be easier and/or cheaper than a FMTY (from this site + Twitter, I gather that it is usually, if not always, cheaper)
2. Even if it isn’t cheaper in a single instance, I wanted to spur her interest in touring my city so that long term it becomes cheaper than doing a FMTY each time.

My city (my entire state, really) doesn’t have a particularly good reputation for touring (at least since COVID, if not before), so I’m trying to do my part in turning that reputation around

it’s not that’s it should be considered a cheaper alternative. It should be mutually beneficial for all parties. If you are looking for the cheapest route, it will always be for you to get on a plane and see her where she has and incall and then fly home.

If you are looking to do something longer and have a location that is close to a major airport, flying her in do a few hour is a good alternative if you can afford it. It being the usual 4 hour minimum and her flight.

Sponsoring is a tricky subject, I’ve discussed it with multiple people, on both sides. It works great for a girl who is actively touring, or frankly in a financial bind where she cannot afford to cover the cost of her trip
Think about it a flight is 500 bucks. A decent room 400 a night minimum in bigger city’s Ubers and food ect, there spending 2k upfront before they make a cent just to make the trip happen
For a guy who wants to do a longer date and is trusting he could potentially ease the cost of a longer date by covering those expenses upfront. For the girl she could potentially make more money by not having to put those expenses out upfront it become a win for both but only if she gets other work. If she cant do that she has very little incentive to see someone at a lower rate

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[AFlawedMind]

it’s not that’s it should be considered a cheaper alternative. It should be mutually beneficial for all parties. If you are looking for the cheapest route, it will always be for you to get on a plane and see her where she has and incall and then fly home.

If you are looking to do something longer and have a location that is close to a major airport, flying her in do a few hour is a good alternative if you can afford it. It being the usual 4 hour minimum and her flight.

Sponsoring is a tricky subject, I’ve discussed it with multiple people, on both sides. It works great for a girl who is actively touring, or frankly in a financial bind where she cannot afford to cover the cost of her trip
Think about it a flight is 500 bucks. A decent room 400 a night minimum in bigger city’s Ubers and food ect, there spending 2k upfront before they make a cent just to make the trip happen
For a guy who wants to do a longer date and is trusting he could potentially ease the cost of a longer date by covering those expenses upfront. For the girl she could potentially make more money by not having to put those expenses out upfront it become a win for both but only if she gets other work. If she cant do that she has very little incentive to see someone at a lower rate

True, me going there is always going to be cheaper. I prefer long dates and don’t really feel like traveling just for that. I wanted the opportunity to see her repeatedly, where it would eventually be cheaper for me

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[Swytypy]

1. The companion in question is completely independent, if that’s who you were referring to with “sweetie pie.”

He was referring to me. Swytypy = sweetie pie.

I’ve written a lot about sponsoring and done it a lot. I’ve never had major issues with poor communication during the planning like you have, and even though most of the providers I’ve sponsored book through TA, I work directly with providers more often than I work through him. All he’d do is be the middle man, getting her name and DOB for the booking and giving it to me, then taking the booking package details from me and giving it to her. When I discuss sponsored tours with providers who work with him, I assume they ask him if they can trust me and he says yes. At least I assume that’s what happens since it almost always works out. Going fully independent sometimes works but as you’ve found out, it includes a lot of unknowns and potential pitfalls.

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[Townbizz54]

He was referring to me. Swytypy = sweetie pie.

I’ve written a lot about sponsoring and done it a lot. I’ve never had major issues with poor communication during the planning like you have, and even though most of the providers I’ve sponsored book through TA, I work directly with providers more often than I work through him. All he’d do is be the middle man, getting her name and DOB for the booking and giving it to me, then taking the booking package details from me and giving it to her. When I discuss sponsored tours with providers who work with him, I assume they ask him if they can trust me and he says yes. At least I assume that’s what happens since it almost always works out. Going fully independent sometimes works but as you’ve found out, it includes a lot of unknowns and potential pitfalls.

See what happens when I don’t call you swipity.

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[drlove69]

He was referring to me. Swytypy = sweetie pie.

I’ve written a lot about sponsoring and done it a lot. I’ve never had major issues with poor communication during the planning like you have, and even though most of the providers I’ve sponsored book through TA, I work directly with providers more often than I work through him. All he’d do is be the middle man, getting her name and DOB for the booking and giving it to me, then taking the booking package details from me and giving it to her. When I discuss sponsored tours with providers who work with him, I assume they ask him if they can trust me and he says yes. At least I assume that’s what happens since it almost always works out. Going fully independent sometimes works but as you’ve found out, it includes a lot of unknowns and potential pitfalls.

I always thought it was Sweaty

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[Swytypy]

I always thought it was Sweaty

Only during hot, steamy sex.

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[AFlawedMind]

He was referring to me. Swytypy = sweetie pie.

I’ve written a lot about sponsoring and done it a lot. I’ve never had major issues with poor communication during the planning like you have, and even though most of the providers I’ve sponsored book through TA, I work directly with providers more often than I work through him. All he’d do is be the middle man, getting her name and DOB for the booking and giving it to me, then taking the booking package details from me and giving it to her. When I discuss sponsored tours with providers who work with him, I assume they ask him if they can trust me and he says yes. At least I assume that’s what happens since it almost always works out. Going fully independent sometimes works but as you’ve found out, it includes a lot of unknowns and potential pitfalls.

You know, I never considered that pronunciation. As for your sponsorship posts, I actually did reply in one but the format of your sponsorship wasn’t even close to this provider’s and I don’t recall you discussing the logistics side of it in any case. I wonder if you can make a post discussing that?

Either way, how do I cancel without losing the entire rate? I’m assuming I’m losing my deposit at this point.

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[Swytypy]

You know, I never considered that pronunciation.

I don’t blame you. It’s not obvious.

As for your sponsorship posts, I actually did reply in one but the format of your sponsorship wasn’t even close to this provider’s and I don’t recall you discussing the logistics side of it in any case. I wonder if you can make a post discussing that?

I’ve thought about writing a post like that a bunch of times. The way I do it on my own is the way I learned from TA, with a few modifications on my end. I think there are a few different ways it can happen, but for me, I almost always buy the plane tickets and hotel in the model’s name, book the day after she arrives as the day of my date and keep in communication as she has questions or requests. I consider myself her personal concierge for the booking, and on the day of our date. And in a few cases, at other times during her stay as well. My goal is for her to be so happy when she’s leaving my city that she sits in her seat on her plane ride home, closes her eyes, smiles and says to herself that she can’t wait to do it all over again, with me as her sponsor again.

Either way, how do I cancel without losing the entire rate? I’m assuming I’m losing my deposit at this point.

Unfortunately, I’m not familiar enough with the specifics of how you went about this to know the best course of action here. I’ve never paid a deposit for a sponsored tour. Paying in advance for all of her travel expenses in my own Travelocity account so she can come to my city and make money after she sees me on her first full day here is all the deposit that’s been needed for me.

Do you still want the sponsored tour to happen if it so happens that the assistant taking over communications changes things and makes it stick? Or do you want to convert it to a regular booking at a later date and use the deposit toward that? Or is that even still an option?

Is either she or her assistant still communicating about a specific date that’s been locked down? Or are they still beating around the bush?

Unfortunately, until the date happens, no one can guarantee this is on the up and up, even with positive signs. All we can do is the opposite, if enough signs point to it - to tell you that we think your deposit is lost. I don’t think you're in the best position but I also don’t think you’re at the point where I feel you’ve lost your deposit yet from what you’ve written so far, but the answers to my questions above might change how I feel.

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