At EA's first in-person meeting last week, we covered a wide range of topics. As expected, we talked about agencies, PSs, rates, and everything else related to the hobby. One topic that sparked some brief yet insightful discussion was the appropriateness of gift-giving for providers. While we didn’t dwell on it for too long, there was a shared understanding among us.
Giving a provider a gift is arguably the second most intimate thing you can do, right behind the obvious. A thoughtful gift can trigger a genuine emotional response and signal how serious you are about the experience. But the key question we debated was whether it’s better to present a gift on the first date or wait for subsequent dates.
It made sense to all three of us that bringing a gift on the first date might not be the best approach. The reasoning was simple: you don’t really know the provider yet. Aside from the brief bio you might find on their website or ad—many of which tend to use the same generic phrases—you’re walking into unknown territory. A gift for someone you’ve just met can feel like a leap, especially if you have no sense of their personality or preferences.
Of course, we all understand why giving gifts to providers is enjoyable. It can brighten their day, even though they likely receive them frequently from other clients. While there’s no explicit expectation tied to a gift, it’s not uncommon for clients to hope for a little extra attention in return—something most providers are generous enough to offer. That said, presenting a gift during a first meeting might not be as impactful if there’s no guarantee of chemistry. It risks becoming just another wasted investment, alongside the potential disappointment of a less-than-stellar session.
On the other hand, giving a gift on the second date makes much more sense. By then, you’ve had the chance to gauge your compatibility with the provider and decide if the investment is worthwhile. A gift becomes a thoughtful gesture that deepens the connection, rather than a shot in the dark.
Gifts can be incredibly powerful tools in the hobby when used wisely. We’ve seen members give gifts strategically, and more often than not, it pays off in the long run. The key is to be calculated about when and how you give them—because when done right, they can open doors to even more memorable experiences.
Giving a provider a gift is arguably the second most intimate thing you can do, right behind the obvious. A thoughtful gift can trigger a genuine emotional response and signal how serious you are about the experience. But the key question we debated was whether it’s better to present a gift on the first date or wait for subsequent dates.
It made sense to all three of us that bringing a gift on the first date might not be the best approach. The reasoning was simple: you don’t really know the provider yet. Aside from the brief bio you might find on their website or ad—many of which tend to use the same generic phrases—you’re walking into unknown territory. A gift for someone you’ve just met can feel like a leap, especially if you have no sense of their personality or preferences.
Of course, we all understand why giving gifts to providers is enjoyable. It can brighten their day, even though they likely receive them frequently from other clients. While there’s no explicit expectation tied to a gift, it’s not uncommon for clients to hope for a little extra attention in return—something most providers are generous enough to offer. That said, presenting a gift during a first meeting might not be as impactful if there’s no guarantee of chemistry. It risks becoming just another wasted investment, alongside the potential disappointment of a less-than-stellar session.
On the other hand, giving a gift on the second date makes much more sense. By then, you’ve had the chance to gauge your compatibility with the provider and decide if the investment is worthwhile. A gift becomes a thoughtful gesture that deepens the connection, rather than a shot in the dark.
Gifts can be incredibly powerful tools in the hobby when used wisely. We’ve seen members give gifts strategically, and more often than not, it pays off in the long run. The key is to be calculated about when and how you give them—because when done right, they can open doors to even more memorable experiences.
