Help with IRL situation (not pornstar related)

[abelrosewood]

So I have a friend at work who I'm very close with. We are very open about anything and everything and we've both openly talked about our sex lives. The...

So I have a friend at work who I'm very close with. We are very open about anything and everything and we've both openly talked about our sex lives. The only thing she doesn't know is that I hobby from time to time. She's newly single and looking for a means of extra money on the side, and I've been contemplating taking up a potential sugar relationship to give the whole sugar dating a try since I've never done it before. She brings up that she was texting some dude about such an arrangement and told him that she'd fuck him for a flat amount.

I think she's really hot and was serious about wanting to give sugaring a try, but I also just kind of want to fuck her. But we are also really good friends as well as coworkers, and she's never really responded or given any hints that she wouldn't mind me pursuing a sugar relationship or even just a standalone fuck with her. Do you think it'd be a bad idea to ask if she'd be down to try something with me?

I think she's really hot and I've got a lot of play money saved up, and the idea of knowing her outside of the hobby adds some extra spice to the idea so I wouldn't mind going for it. Solely looking for advice on this.

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[10brokentoes]

Don't fuck around with coworkers!

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[not_bored_throwaway]

> Do you think it'd be a bad idea to ask if she'd be down to try something with me?

Yes.

Well, no, it's not a bad idea if you're fine throwing everything away.

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[Deleted member 1607]

Messing around with a co-worker is a terrible idea…more so if you are planning on approaching it like a sugar daddy type situation.

The whole thing can go south real quick and you’d stuck seeing them everyday. Plus idk where you work but if HR gets wind of it you both could be screwed.

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[tywin22]

Don't shit where you eat. If you really want to hook up then it has to be natural eg you guys go out for drinks as friends and the conversation around relationships happens naturally. Sexual propositioning with money involved is a no go. Also should go without saying if you're in any way senior to them or able to influence their ability to advance or get paid at work it's an absolute no go

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[FishMonger]

sugar dating means a lot of different things to people, from just banging for cash to basically real long term relationships with lots of cash/gifts on top. I have no comment on the coworker aspect, thats a hard no for me, but everyone is different on that. you gotta figure out what type of sugar relationship you want, and how long. those things tend to burn bright and short, and real relationships and money can get complicated quickly. Thats the best part of the hobby. We both know exactly how much time we are spending together, and its back to real life right after. No BS, No Drama. That aint sugar relationships.

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[lustman]

Don't take this the wrong way, but it kinda sounds like you're in the friend zone. Once you're there, kinda hard to break out of that. Also, just because she's "willing" to kind of give it a shot doesn't mean she does or will like it. As her friend, she may hold you to a "higher standard."

Finally, where you work, do you see yourself there in five, ten years. Potentially making things awkward now might make work miserable.

My two cents, proceed with extreme caution.

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[Deleted member 1505]

Bad idea for you but shoot me her contact info, I’ll help her out

Jk bro, don’t do it.

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[tinman]

Don’t do it - general rule of thumb: don’t fuck at places where you eat ( getting your paycheck). There is no scenario in any multiverse you will come out ahead. Find a sugar daddy relationship elsewhere and don’t get into more talks about sex with a female co worker or a friend whom you find attractive. Keep your head above your neck and not between your legs.

I am saying this from experience - I was burnt and went down hard in a ball of fire. It was with a female co worker I was stuck in a friend zone with and she started sharing her liberated sex adventures as if I were part of her “sisterhood” in which to my surprise they openly talked very graphically about their sexual experiences ( and for a straight guy it was a turn on) .

Before I know it I started talking back explicitly about sexual things and to my dismay they cannot handle guys talking about it ( no reciprocation so fuck the whole equality of sex topic) . She claimed to be harassed and tried to file a complaint with HR but luckily I was on my way out of that company onto a new job. I have blocked that bitch since then 5 years ago.

So take my advice - go fuck somewhere else. Not worth the headaches and fallout.

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[king-sama4u2nv]

I gotta agree with everyone here. Even though It would be amazing to have the incentive in your sugar relationship, she's still a co-worker and nothing good can come from shitting where you eat. Nothing!!!

There are a number of ways this can go bad for you. My advice, keep that you're in the hobby to yourself and admire from afar.

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[tinman]

Go find a provider that resembles your co worker whether in the same age group or looks and fuck your brains out.

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[abelrosewood]

Thank you for all the great advice, gentlemen! Some valuable insight in this thread thanks a ton!

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[Deleted member 1505]

Thank you for all the great advice, gentlemen! Some valuable insight in this thread thanks a ton!

the bastard’s gonna go for it still ain’t he?

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[Sexaddict]

Give it a go, hey! YOLO as the youngsters says

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[trystagency]

you will destroy everything for her at work and your working relationship

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[tinman]

Thank you for all the great advice, gentlemen! Some valuable insight in this thread thanks a ton!

Jerk off a 100 times to her pic or pic her naked or fuck some provider that looks like her - just exorcise your lust demon out and think with a clear head. Be professional and distance yourself from her for a while to cool things off if you have to. A good friendship and working relationship is hard to come by. Don’t destroy everything in your work life for 30 sec of orgasm that you may have with her and you will regret for next 30 years.

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[Deleted member 1505]

Jerk off a 100 times to her pic or pic her naked or fuck some provider that looks like her - just exorcise your lust demon out and think with a clear head. Be professional and distance yourself from her for a while to cool things off if you have to. A good friendship and working relationship is hard to come by. Don’t destroy everything in your work life for 30 sec of orgasm that you may have with her and you will regret for next 30 years.

I’ll be honest tho. He said he talks openly about sex with her and she’s ok with it. That’s different from your situation where the girl wasn’t okay with talking about it.

Fuck it, this might be unpopular but I don’t agree with most of the other comments here. Fucking girls at work is “risky” but it’s the ultimate ego boost. I have fucked girls I work with (albeit military). If you genuinely have her consent, it won’t backfire in terms of your job security if she’s not your subordinate. You could start with this: What does she need money for? Is it illegal to help a girl out financially? Of course not. If you give her money for that thing (ex. Groceries, rent, etc.) and you happen to also have sex with her at a later time, there’s no way to prove you solicited her for sex. It’s illegal to solicit sex but it’s not illegal to give someone money, or perform any kind gesture and be rewarded in any way that person chooses. The two things are unrelated. All you did is help out friend. She would be deciding she wants to have consensual sex along the way.

In a worst case scenario, you would be covered against practically any accusation unless she can make a sound argument that you used your “power” or “wealth” to persuade her. And if you are her subordinate or equal, that’s a crock of shit and won’t go anywhere.

The best course of action would be to disconnect the financial support from the sexual encounter itself. Transfer money on a completely separate day from whenever you have the actual encounter. And have a paper trail showing consent that makes no mention of it being in exchange for money (i.e. text messages that paint the entire thing as a consensual date night). And don’t let her drink ANY AMOUNT of alcohol or do any illicit drugs on the night of. If she really undermines everything you guys built as friends to accuse you of the worst possible thing, don’t talk to anyone about anything, including LE. Exercise the 5th amendment and hire a lawyer. But again, that’s a worst case scenario and this woman would have to be extremely shameless to do that, especially since this is all her idea in reality in the first place.

However, if your job has a policy that forbids dating coworkers, everything I said above is null.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, I can’t give legal advice

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[tinman]

I’ll be honest tho. He said he talks openly about sex with her and she’s ok with it. That’s different from your situation where the girl wasn’t okay with talking about it.

Fuck it, this might be unpopular but I don’t agree with most of the other comments here. Fucking girls at work is “risky” but it’s the ultimate ego boost. I have fucked girls I work with (albeit military). If you genuinely have her consent, it won’t backfire in terms of your job security if she’s not your subordinate. You could start with this: What does she need money for? Is it illegal to help a girl out financially? Of course not. If you give her money for that thing (ex. Groceries, rent, etc.) and you happen to also have sex with her at a later time, there’s no way to prove you solicited her for sex. It’s illegal to solicit sex but it’s not illegal to give someone money, or perform any kind gesture and be rewarded in any way that person chooses. The two things are unrelated. All you did is help out friend. She would be deciding she wants to have consensual sex along the way.

In a worst case scenario, you would be covered against practically any accusation unless she can make a sound argument that you used your “power” or “wealth” to persuade her. And if you are her subordinate or equal, that’s a crock of shit and won’t go anywhere.

The best course of action would be to disconnect the financial support from the sexual encounter itself. Transfer money on a completely separate day from whenever you have the actual encounter. And have a paper trail showing consent that makes no mention of it being in exchange for money (i.e. text messages that paint the entire thing as a consensual date night). And don’t let her drink ANY AMOUNT of alcohol or do any illicit drugs on the night of. If she really undermines everything you guys built as friends to accuse you of the worst possible thing, don’t talk to anyone about anything, including LE. Exercise the 5th amendment and hire a lawyer. But again, that’s a worst case scenario and this woman would have to be extremely shameless to do that, especially since this is all her idea in reality in the first place.

However, if your job has a policy that forbids dating coworkers, everything I said above is null.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, I can’t give legal advice

I agree it would be an ego and confidence boost but if I had learnt anything in past few decades is that you cannot really trust women as they can be so cunning or Mischievous the minute you said something wrong and upset them they will make it their live’s mission to ruin you. As the saying goes - hell hath no fury for a woman scorned. This only applies to a women being rejected in love but other area as well.

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[Deleted member 1505]

I agree it would be an ego and confidence boost but if I had learnt anything in past few decades is that you cannot really trust women as they can be so cunning or Mischievous the minute you said something wrong and upset them they will make it their live’s mission to ruin you. As the saying goes - hell hath no fury for a woman scorned. This only applies to a women being rejected in love but other area as well.

Ok yea that’s true I’m still young so

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[pbookrazor]

Where I am from we have an old saying "A rabbit doesn't eat grass by its own burrow". What I think is weight the risk and reward, and make sure you are willing to accept the risk. Good luck

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